It is one of those counterintuitive laws of the jungle: the more a company deals with layoffs, the more likely people who work there take sick days.

        A new study by Nucleus Technologies, an absence management consultancy in Arlington, Va., illuminates some truths about absenteeism.

        At big companies, it is increasing at an annual rate? of 10 percent to 20 percent. We are becoming more Homer Simpson than Miss Hennypenny, who hasn't missed a day of work in about three decades.

        Is it time to warm to your inner Homer, appreciate him for the purity of his quest?

        (Homer to daughter Lisa) No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.

        Among Nucleus' top findings:

        • Absence goes up during economic downturns. “To a certain extent, there is a law of large companies at work,” said Michael Scofield, Ph.D. and a senior vice president at Nucleus.

        “For many, the link to what they are doing and the fortunes of the company is not readily apparent.”

Bad bosses play a part

               • Absence is more prevalent among the young, which is inverse to actual sickness rates. The trend is not because there are more Gen Y or Gen X employees in the workplace.

        “It's been around as long as I've been around,” Dr. Scofield said. “People who don't connect have a high absenteeism rate and if that continues, they don't get old with a company.”

        (Lisa to Homer) Dad, is it all right to take things from people you don't like?

        • Shoddy or ineffective management — that is, managers who aren't very likeable — bring on absences.

        “The cause is organizationally driven,” Dr. Scofield said. “People want to be productive and successful. What can happen is that that part of people can be sucked out of them by the way their work is organized or by the way people are supervised.”

        • Folks bail out on Mondays and Fridays. No need for a study to figure that out.

        “Inner Homer?” Dr. Scofield said. “We like to think that everybody has an inner Jack Welch: someone who wants to be empowered and engaged.”

Looking the part

               A survey of 1,400 chief information officers should remove any doubt that clothes don't make a big impression on hiring managers. They expect people — even black-box information technology specialists — to dress professionally.

        Nine out of 10 of the officers surveyed by RHI Consulting, a leading provider of information technology professionals, want professional dress.

        “The visibility of information technology departments within many organizations has risen dramatically,” said Charles Hughes, branch manager for RHI Consulting, based downtown and the technology consulting division of Robert Half International, a specialized staffing service.

        That means the presence in the workplace of Newfound Glory T-shirts and cargo shorts has fallen proportionally.

        There is good news for funky dressers: One out of 10 CIOs don't give a hoot about what their IT specialists wear to the office. They just want you to keep the computers humming.

       Contact John Eckberg at 768-8386 or jeckberg@enquirer.com.

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