While wondering how long it will take for Steve Spurrier's visor to hit the turf in Tokyo. ...

        Don't know about you, but I couldn't be more ready for some professional football than if I sang with a country twang and wore a big, black hat.

        Baseball? Ha. Let 'em walk.

        I'm already thinking about the kickoff to the 2002 NFL season next month. Who knows, by then, those chintzy Kansas City Chiefs might finally realize that Tony Gonzalez is more than just your everyday tight end and pay him accordingly.

        Lots of changes this season. Realignment. Four new stadiums. An expansion team in Texas. The largest mass movement of free agents in seven years. Coach Visor bringing the Fun-'n-Gun to Washington. Romo a Raider and Tuna back on TV full time. And no Denny Green in Minny. (At the Vikings' training camp site in Mankato, Minn., one hopeful entrepreneur has put this message on an outdoor sign: “A Super Bowl would be nice, Mr. Tice.”)

        Camp Marty has relocated to laid-back Southern California, where new San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer is still in love with the hot-and-heavy Oklahoma Drill, something Chargers linebacker Junior Seau actually deemed “fun.”

        Aren't NFL linebackers a sick species?

        I can hardly wait for the season to begin.

        —-

        Ryan Leaf wasn't only one of the biggest busts in NFL history, he was one of the most expensive flops in the history of professional sports.

        Leaf, who retired last week, grossed more than $12 million during his aborted four-year career, which began in San Diego. For that princely sum, he produced a pauper-like 14 touchdown passes, precisely half-a-dozen more than the late, great running back Walter Payton. Leaf heaved 36 interceptions, completed less than 50 percent of his passes and finished with a QB rating of 50.0.

        For comparative purposes, some of the worst No. 1 picks in league history at the same position had higher QB ratings, including David Klingler (65.1), Andre Ware (63.5), Kelly Stouffer (54.5), Heath Shuler (54.3) and Dan McGwire (52.3).

        Leaf didn't fail because he was with the wrong team, or because he suffered a wrist injury. He failed because he wasn't the leader you must have at that position, because he dozed off in team meetings and continued to alienate his teammates.

        He failed because he didn't care enough.

        —-

        Did you hear about the creative minor league baseball team in Texas that plans to let pregnant women free into the ballpark, if there's a major-league baseball strike? They're going to call it “Labor Stoppage Night.”

        —-

        Egos are rampant in the big leagues, of course. In case you're wondering who has the biggest head playing baseball today, it is not Barry Bonds, Mike Piazza or Sammy Sosa. No, that literal distinction is the sole property of Texas Rangers outfielder Kevin Mench. He wears a size 8 cap, largest in the majors.

        —-

        The Battle at Bighorn would get better TV ratings if it would match the world's No. 1 golfer (Tiger Woods) against No. 2 (Phil Mickelson). That isn't likely to happen because International Management Group, which represents Woods, is in charge of the made-for-TV, prime-time golf event. Woods' enmity for the Mick is well known inside golf circles.

        —-

        Los Angeles Lakers center Shaquille O'Neal now qualifies as one of this country's biggest landlords, no matter how you super-size it. The 7-footer is the general partner of a group that just spent nearly $100 million for affordable housing communities throughout Colorado.

        —-

        This week's Keeping Score sports quiz:

        What was the favored means of coercion used by that alleged Russian mobster accused of fixing Olympic figure skating at the Salt Lake City Games?
       • A. A lifetime supply of Stolichnaya vodka.
       • B. The promise of meeting Russian singles.
       • C. A comped trip to Siberia with Jim Trafficant.
       • D. This threat: “Now don't make me send Dick Button over to your house.”

        —-

        Quote of the week: “This is what you do when they take your license.” Edgerrin James upon arriving at the Indianapolis Colts' training camp via taxi.

        —-

        Hey, whatever happened to Peter Ueberroth?

Sports Stories

ATP tennis fans should be fired up It's all business in mixed doubles Nalbandian too much for Henman Most teams' MVPs are their sponsors Pate leads on eagle's wings Son of Stadler leads Western Amateur Florence parks a ball team by I-75 Forget baseball, it's football time Hurricane warning SEC boasts three Heisman candidates at QB Benson ready for Indy turnaround Penske duo ruling IRL together Dishing clean dirt on X-Games Next: The Sopranos on ice Coming up this week

Reds 6, Dodgers 4
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Reds GM sorry for remarks
DAUGHERTY: The day Bowden lost all perspective
Despite lack of big-name deal, Bowden confident
Clearing waivers complicates post-deadline trades
Labor dispute down to dollars, sense
Cardinals turn majors' fourth triple play this season
Clemens throws seven innings in rehabilitation start
NL Roundup
AL roundup
Dillon dishing out determination
Kitna will start scrimmage
Bulked-up White impresses early in Browns camp
Hall steps back, ceremonies move to stadium
Japanese LB a keeper for 49ers
Kirkland adjusts to new team, role with Eagles
Steelers president recounts hard landing