We think that some people who suggested worst-case scenarios to us really expected us to answer them. Their scenarios were more of the lighthearted kind — although we think they may be poking fun at our city, or us, or maybe you.

        But since they got such a kick out of dreaming them up, we include some of them here for your amusement.

The scenarios:

        Springer returns: “Jerry Springer returns to Cincinnati and runs for mayor. And wins.”

— Stu Mahlin, Hyde Park

        Food fears: “Massive dairy shortage results in no cheddar cheese deliveries to local chili parlors ...

        “Freezer breakdown at Graeter's factory melts all ice cream.”

— Robert J. Ashe, Delhi Township

        Fowl fears: “Finding a way to escape attacking geese and ducks during a picnic at Spring Grove Cemetery.”

— Anna Risch, 12, and Elisabeth Risch, 15, College Hill

        Suburban dilemma: “A suburbanite is driving his luxury SUV to his Mason home when the air conditioning fails and smoke begins to exit the vents. . . . There is a smog alert. What should he do? Roll down his window and breathe unhealthy air or keep his windows closed and try to survive without air conditioning?

— Dean Hoebbel, Northside

        Geography: “Hyde Park, Mount Lookout and Oakley ... secede from Cincinnati and join Norwood to form a new city named Mount Norkley Park.”

— Stu Mahlin, Hyde Park

        Real life: “As a jeweler-gemologist, I appraised diamond jewelry that was to be inherited by two sisters. One sister dreaded dividing the six pieces and predicted a fight over who got the most. I told her one sister should sort the jewelry into two piles and the other should get first choice.

        “Later, she told me the inheritance went smoothly and that the two became closer than ever.”

— Dave Sharp, Oakley

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