Now here's a big surprise: There's a crime wave in New Gotham City, and the cops can't figure out who's doing it, those jokers.

Here's another surprise: Batman, the clandestine caped crusader, is nowhere to be found. He must be taking an extended batnap in the Batcave.

So the defense of truth, justice and the American way in New Gotham rests in the manicured hands of three drop-dead gorgeous women, the Birds of Prey (9-10:08 p.m. today, Channels 64, 26).

Think of WB's new comic book brought to life as Gotham: The Next Generation.

Birds of Prey is full of surprises — many of them very annoying. But the biggest surprise of all is you could enjoy watching and listening to these kick-butt women if you can get past the pilot's confusing set-up — and that's a big if.

It's fun to hear the Huntress (Ashley Scott from Dark Angel, A.I.: Artificial Intelligence) complain about her job: “We spend all of our time trying to save the city — fighting crime lords and super villains — for what? Lousy hours, non-existent pay, no recognition?”

Being able to leap over tall buildings in a single bound isn't all that glamorous: “It's cold, wet and hell on your nails.”

On the other hand, it's stunning that writer Laeta Kalogridis (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) expects us to believe that New Gotham police have never caught on to celebrity criminals chased by Batman, Catwoman, Batgirl, the Huntress, Oracle and a whole league of justice vigilantes.

Batman has been around since, what, 1939? You'd think somebody would notice other than lowly police detective Jesse Reese (Shemar Moore).

“You've seen the things we can't even begin to explain,” Reese tells his partner. “There's something going on in this city after the sun goes down, and I intend to find out what it is.”

Of course, none of the cops bothers to look — up there in the sky! — and see a human being fly into the clock tower lair for the Birds of Prey.

Even Reese, the brightest bulb on the detective squad, doesn't recognize bartender Helena Kyle as the Huntress when she appears at a crime scene. Yo, Jesse, she doesn't wear a mask!

Here's another surprise: Birds of Prey hunts-and-pecks its way through comic book lore in assembling the characters. Fans of the comics may be more confused than casual viewers, who accept WB's version of their back story.

So here's a guide for bird watching tonight:

The Huntress, aka Helena Kyle: She's the daughter of Batman and Catwoman, although it's not clear how much Batman knows about her.

She has refused money from Bruce Wayne (Batman's alter ego), as well as an offer to reside in his manor house. Instead, she lives with Barbara Gordon, with assistance from Mr. Wayne's loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth (Ian Abercrombie of Mouse Hunt, Seinfeld).

Helena, who witnessed her mother's brutal murder by the Joker's henchman, attends anger management sessions with a therapist. She complains to the doctor about her dad's double life, which she describes cryptically as “a really aggressive hobby.”

Oracle, aka Barbara Gordon (Dina Meyer of Starship Troopers): Technically, she has a third identity of Batgirl. After the Joker shot her, leaving her paralyzed from the waist down, she became a computer expert who can guide people by seeing a virtual reality. By day, she teaches high school from her wheelchair.

In comic book lore, and the 1960s Batman TV series, Barbara is the daughter of Police Commissioner Gordon. The WB show doesn't reference that.

Dinah (Rachel Skarsten of Little Men): This teen-age runaway is mysteriously drawn to the clock tower after years of nightmares/visions about Barbara and Helena.

The women take Dinah under their wings when they discover her super-human powers. “Sometimes when I touch people, I see things that they only know. Sometimes when I dream, they come true,” she explains.

Harley Quinn, Dr. Harleen Quinzel (Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller's Day Off): The Joker's former lover is the mad mastermind behind the New Gotham crime. She's also the administrator of the Arkham Asylum — and Helena's therapist.

(Surprise!) Viewers won't be sure how much she knows about Helena's double life, or her famous father, from Harley's sessions with her.

Tough opposition

It's no surprise that TV pilots are confusing. They have to establish characters and their backgrounds, plus deliver action and plot. This show was redone by the WB to make the women's background easier to follow (which is why it runs eight minutes long).

With all that out of the way, subsequent adventures of this Dynamic Trio could be surprisingly fun to watch — in another time slot.

The Birds of Prey biggest foe isn't Harley Quinn, but the president (on NBC's The West Wing), The Bachelor (on ABC) and the Racers (on CBS' The Amazing Race). These birds will be easy picking until moved to another night — unless the WB programmers are napping in the Batcave with Batman.

Why not package these sexy crime-fighters with Charmed, or young Superman on Smallville? Somebody send out a Bat signal!

E-mail jkiesewetter@enquirer.com. Librarian Jeff Suess contributed to this report.

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