Here is proof that God has a sense of humor: We all turn into our parents.

Sooner or later, we reach the twisted end of our frayed rope and yell that thing we swore we would never say when we had kids:

"You call that MUSIC?''

And that is the day we get our official membership in the Old Coots Club.

"You are really showing your age on this one,'' wrote Chris Bohn of Columbia Tusculum, in response to my column Friday ripping rapper Eminem. "Lighten up. The same stuff you're saying now has been said since the birth of rock 'n' roll. But by some miracle America has managed to survive Elvis, Led Zeppelin, Ted Nugent, Alice Cooper, Kiss, Ozzy, etc. ... I'll bet your parents didn't care for the music or the lyrics you listened to either.''

I'm not listening

Actually, I never listened to the lyrics.

Tony Clough of Northern Kentucky wrote, "You and Eminem are weaved from the same cloth. You both are divisive and spew your propaganda and hatred to earn a buck. The difference is that what he does is entertainment whether you like it or not, and you deem your message as news. Which is worse?''

Dang, I was hoping to keep it secret that Eminem and I are just alike - if you don't count being separated by 30 years and different planets.

Maybe what he really meant was that my hip-hop rap was just like Eminem's. Yeah. I'd say it was nearly as revolting.

Paul Short of South Lebanon wrote: "I have never understood how anybody can use the word rap and music in the same sentence. Rap is not music.''

Karin Langner of Miami Township in Clermont County wrote: "I can't believe I'm writing to tell you this because I very, very rarely agree with you, but thank you. I don't understand at all what is good about this guy. I do not want my children listening to these lyrics. As a woman and a mother I'm horribly offended by what I have heard of his on the radio. This is my gripe in general with rap or hip-hop - that so many lyrics are about hatred of women. I've never understood it.''

Turn that down

I don't understand it, either. I figure Eminem writes that stuff to shock people who think obscenity is art. But I don't understand why anyone is stupid enough to buy it.

Several readers were outraged that I did not go to Eminem's new movie before writing about it. But writing about stuff we don't experience in person is a long tradition in journalism. Peter Jennings doesn't vote with Republicans to make fun of them. Tom Brokaw doesn't stick his nose in Saddam's basement to find anthrax. And I'm not taking any risks of contamination by getting anywhere near Eminem's smallpox talent, thank you.

As for the rap on coots: If it wasn't for parents, angry young jerks like Eminem would have nothing to rebel against. And if we're speeding down a freeway that leads to Sick City, who cares if the bad trip started in Elvisville or Madonnatown?

Shouldn't we just get off at the nearest exit?

E-mail pbronson@enquirer.com or call 768-8301.