By Ryan Ernst
The Cincinnati Enquirer

The end of college football season means one thing: rivalry games.

Many such games - or the names of their trophies - fall into one of a few basic categories. The almost generic "Victory Bell" has been thrown out because it's just too widespread. It's only a matter of time before kids start passing them back and forth after video games.

The others:

The alcohol-related

The Bourbon Barrel* (Indiana/Kentucky), The Little Brown Stein (Montana/Idaho), The Beer Barrel* (Kentucky/Tennessee), The Shot Glass (Coast Guard/Rensselar), The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party (Florida/Georgia), The Keg of Nails** (Cincinnati/Louisville).

So, does college football encourage binge drinking? Nah. Hey, where are you kids going with that goal post?

The foot-related

The Bronze Boot (Colorado State/Wyoming), The Golden Boot (Arkansas/LSU), The Wooden Shoes (Hope/Kalamazoo), The Dutchman's Shoes (Rensselar/Union), The Beehive Boot (BYU/Utah/Utah State/Weber State).

Yeah, yeah. It's called football, but this is still kind of weird.

The potentially dangerous

The Stanford Axe (Stanford/Cal), The Sweet Sioux Tomahawk (Illinois/Northwestern), Paul Bunyan's Axe (Wisconsin/Minnesota), The Fremont Cannon (UNLV/Nevada), The Kit Carson Rifle* (Arizona/New Mexico).

"Here you go, Mr. 300-pound Lineman. Your team just won its big rivalry game. You've got to be really pumped up , especially with all these fans running all over the field going nuts. Take this 6-foot-long axe. Have fun."

The metallic

The Golden Egg, or Egg Bowl (Mississippi/Mississippi State), The Iron Bowl (Alabama/Auburn), The Old Brass Spittoon (Indiana/Michigan State), The Nickel Trophy (North Dakota/North Dakota State), The Iron Skillet (SMU/TCU), The Silver Shako (VMI/Citadel), The Golden Hat (Texas/Oklahoma), The Bronze Turkey (Knox/Monmouth).

Because playing for just a regular spittoon would be lunacy.

The transportation-oriented

The Victory Carriage (UC-Davis/Sacramento State), The Wagon Wheel (Akron/Kent), The Steel Tire (Akron/Youngstown State).

A tire made of steel? How does that work?

The absolutely absurd

The Athletic Trainer's Kit (Mankato State/St. Cloud State), The Telephone Trophy (Iowa State/Missouri), Floyd of Rosedale (Minnesota/Iowa), The Illibuck Trophy (Ohio State/Illinois), The Slab of Bacon* (Minnesota/Wisconsin), The Goat Trophy (Carleton/St. Olaf).

Floyd is a bronze pig statue and Illibuck is a little wooden turtle. This must be where the alcohol kicks in.

The violent-sounding

The Civil War (Oregon/Oregon State), The Battle of Los Angeles (UCLA/USC), The Seminole War Canoe (Miami/Florida State), The Indian War Drum (Kansas/Missouri), The Backyard Brawl (Pitt/West Virginia), The Red River Shootout (Texas/Oklahoma).

These are always the most heated and usually the most fun.

Get this: The winner of the Texas/Oklahoma game gets possession of the Red River for the next year. And no one has a problem with this. Is this still America?

The 'game'

The Big Game (Stanford/Cal), The Only Game that Matters (Arizona/Arizona State), The Game (Harvard/Yale), The Game (Lafayette/Lehigh).

We know, we know. "Dude, It's THE GAME, whoa!" We got it.

Now stop screaming.

The best of the rest

The Little Brown Jug (Minnesota/Michigan), The Old Oaken Bucket (Purdue/Indiana), The Megaphone (Michigan State/Notre Dame), The Apple Cup (Washington/Washington State), The Peace Pipe (Toledo/Bowling Green), The Rag (LSU/Tulane), The Commander-In-Chief Trophy (Army/Navy/Air Force), The Shillelagh (Notre Dame/Purdue), The Ireland Trophy (Notre Dame/Boston College).

*-Now defunct

**-In this instance, the word keg means a measure of nails equaling 100 pounds.