By Cindy Kranz
The Cincinnati Enquirer

SYMMES TOWNSHIP - At Symmes Elementary, the sounds of "please" and "thank you" resonate throughout the building.

The K-4 school this year implemented a program called "Manners Rule" which offers a twist on the character development programs in many Tristate schools.

Along with instilling respect, the 28-week program teaches all 420 students good manners, ranging from proper greetings to how to write a thank-you note to how to start a conversation.

Symmes, along with J.F. Burns Elementary School in the Kings Local School District and Montgomery Elementary, are the only Tristate schools offering the program, developed by a Miami University student.

It's not that these students are less mannerly than others. It's just that teachers and administrators decided to do something about it.

"A lot of it is the absence of courtesy," said Symmes principal Anne Van Kirk. "They were not using common courtesies like, `Yes, please,' or `Thank you,' or `Excuse me' after bumping into somebody."

Sue Soldo, counselor at Symmes and Montgomery elementaries, brought the program to both schools. When she became a counselor two years ago, she polled teachers on how she could best help them.

"They were finding kids wouldn't answer back greetings, they'd interrupt, they wouldn't use their inside/outside voices. They'd say `Hey, you' to get someone's attention," Ms. Soldo said.

"Unless they're taught differently, they don't know any better. We're trying to teach them to be caring, kind and responsible citizens and to use good manners, not just when people are looking."

Although character education is sweeping public schools nationwide, most of it focuses on pillars of character, including respect, responsibility and kindness. Manners Rule takes character education a step further by incorporating guidelines, such as "How to Act at a Slumber Party" and "Table Manners."

Today's youths are not exposed to social graces and courtesies as they were in the past, said Marja Wade Barrett, a Fort Mitchell etiquette consultant who conducts etiquette programs for children, families, businesses and organizations.

It's hard to learn good table manners, for example, when families eat together only two meals a week. She's even witnessed college-bound students who won't eat a banquet meal because they don't know how to use silverware. They are kids from all socio-economic backgrounds who grew up eating pizza and sandwiches.

"When the young people are exposed to manners training and social graces, they soak it up like a sponge," she said.

Good manners not only teach respect, they can help a person get ahead in life, Ms. Barrett said. "Learning these things will help them when they go for job interviews. It helps them in college interviews."

Each Monday during video announcements at Symmes, the "Manners Fairy" gives students a pep talk about minding their manners. Next, a short video airs introducing the "manner of the week."

At Symmes, the Manners Rule program fits with the school's Responsive Classroom character development program that encourages kids to take care of themselves, others and the environment.

The program, geared to K-4 students, offers practical suggestions. The Social Equipment lesson, for example, suggests students "always carry five questions in their back pocket."

So, if a new student comes to school, kids can ask: Where are you from? What's your favorite subject? Do you have any pets? What's your favorite music? Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Duncan Johnson, 9, a fourth-grader, said it's important to have good manners.

"If you didn't have manners, nobody would like you and nobody would play with you," he said.

Each week, designated school staff members act as "Secret Stargazers," who watch for examples of kids who practice good manners, take care of themselves, each other and the environment. On Fridays, the "Super Stargazer" announces the names, and the entire school learns what the students did to earn the recognition.

They receive certificates and shooting star ribbons. Stars bearing their names are posted on a bulletin board.

Manners are reinforced at school throughout the week, and parents are informed of the manner of the week through the school newsletter so they can work on it at home.

Michele Reece, a mother of two Symmes students, said the program has gotten kids excited about being polite to each other. When she ran the school book fair last month, she noticed kids were more courteous.

Teaching manners at school can fill a void outside the classroom.

"I don't think it's fully reinforced in this world of `me first' and `what can I get for myself?' Thinking of others first is sometimes secondary," Ms. Reece said.

Manners Rule was developed by Katie Contardi, 21, a senior at Miami University. Her father owns the Harper's Point Racquet Club in Symmes Township, where she has taught tennis to all age groups for the past six years.

"I noticed that some of the kids forget the pleases and thank yous," said the sports organization major. "Sometimes, they're not the best sports on or off the court. That's not just in sports, but also at the mall or in restaurants."

Ms. Contardi was compelled to take action because she was taught manners at a young age. Because of her dad's business, she and her brother were always around adults and engaged in conversations with them.

Her program was piloted last year at J.F. Burns, where she was a student.

Kids aren't the only ones to blame for lack of manners. A 2002 survey by Public Agenda, a national research group, revealed that most Americans surveyed said rudeness is on the rise in society:

79 percent said lack of respect and courtesy should be regarded as a serious national problem.

73 percent believe Americans treated one another with greater respect in the past.

Just look at what happened last month with the melees following the Ohio-Michigan State and Hawaii-UC games, Ms. Barrett said.

"Sometimes, I think we're fighting an uphill battle, but we can't give up."

Katie Contardi sells the Manners Rule program to schools for $600 through her Web site, www.mannersrule.com.

E-mail ckranz@enquirer.com