My favorite part of filling out an IRS-1040 is the line that asks me to designate some of my taxes for political campaigns.

That's when I roll on the floor and laugh till my ribs ache. Those IRS people have a great sense of humor. Asking tapped-out taxpayers to subsidize more tax-raising politicians is like a mugger asking if he can use my credit cards for his crack habit.

Here's a better idea: How about designating part of our taxes to give the flabby government a liposuction treatment?

That's what Hamilton County Commissioners Phil Heimlich and Todd Portune have in mind. They want to do an MRI on the county, then surgically remove adipose spending.

Fat-free diet

Since 1991, county spending has gone up 65 percent and tax levies have risen 80 percent, Heimlich said. "Our hope is that the outside reviews will get this spending under control and improve the quality of services to county residents.''

He wants to hire A.T. Hudson & Co., a New Jersey consulting company that has already worked over some Hamilton County departments, with results that look like the "before'' and "after'' pictures in ads for Miracle Fat Reducer pills.

Hudson found more than $50 million in savings for a fee of about $4 million. "The good news is that we have $26 million in implemented savings,'' Heimlich said. "The bad news is that we have another $26 million left that we have not implemented.''

That's why he wants the next performance audit to report directly to commissioners. He thinks the administration is too cozy with its own departments to cut waste.

It gets better. Former Cincinnati City Manager Jerry Newfarmer says his company, Management Partners, can do the same thing for a lower fee. A consultant who wants to cut consulting fees!

"Savings of two times the cost of our contract fee is guaranteed,'' Newfarmer said. He says Hudson's proposed fee of $4 million for a complete county audit is too high, and the county should ask for bids. "The irony here is that these are the folks who favor competition,'' he said, referring to Heimlich, who advocates managed competition.

Just do it

Heimlich said he doesn't oppose getting bids and Newfarmer's company may get a contract. But he worries that any delay could give levy agencies and departments time to block the audits.

The first levy in line for an audit would be the Cincinnati Zoo, which has some powerful friends.

Heimlich says Hudson is already cutting its fee in half, and $4 million is a bargain compared to what the county will save.

He's right. Whoever they hire, just do it. And let's put our obese state government on the liposuction table, too. Gov. Bob Taft's claim that the state is already skin and bones is preposterous. Higher education, prisons, schools, welfare and hundreds of porky state programs would be a target-rich environment for audits. Ohio residents could wind up getting tax rebates instead of tax hikes.

Just show me where to check the box.

E-mail pbronson@enquirer.com or call 768-8301.