I know what you're thinking: Get Me Out of Here! isn't just the title of ABC's newest unscripted series.

It's how many of you feel about these contrived so-called "reality" shows that have taken the prime out of prime-time television this sweeps month.

ABC's newest venture - stranding 10 "celebrities" in an Australian rain forest - is the most ambitious (and risky) of this new tidal wave of reality shows.

The success (or failure) of I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here! (10 p.m. today, Channels 9, 2) could help determine the genre's fate.

Will we watch 15 consecutive nights? Yes, 15 straight nights? (Get me out of here!)

Hey, we still love Survivor.

But ABC folks hasten to say that Get Me Out of Here! isn't Celebrity Survivor. To them, it's a comedy show, not a competition - though the participants can win up to $500,000 for charity.

It's hard not to laugh when you look at the cast: snobby Robin Leach; pampered Melissa Rivers; Olympic champion Bruce Jenner; sassy "Downtown" Julie Brown; models Tyson Beckford and Nikki Schieler Ziering; actress Maria Conchita Alonso; dancer Cris Judd; TV host Alana Stewart; and "Stuttering John" Melendez from Howard Stern's radio show.

"This is a bizarre slumber party on the other side of the world," says executive producer John Saade, a Cleveland native whose TV credits include The Best Commercials You've Never Seen (I, II, III).

Leach, 61, the former Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host, and his fellow campers will be "walking into camp with absolutely nothing," Saade says.

No cell phone. No red carpet. No hair and makeup artists. No trendy shops and restaurants. No Starbucks. No way!

"They are going to have to figure out a lot of very basic things.... They have to get a fire going. They have to get themselves fed. They have to figure out how they're going to keep themselves clean," Saade says.

Says Rivers, 32, daughter of comedian Joan Rivers: "What does my mother think? She thinks I've lost my mind, in a nutshell.... My mother knows I went off the deep end. And since I'm genetically half hers, it's really not that much of a stretch of the imagination."

Don't be surprised if one of the heartiest survivors is Stewart, 56, ex-wife of rocker Rod Stewart and actor George Hamilton.

"I grew up in a little house out in the country, at the end of a dirt road, with an outdoor toilet," says the Texas native. "I've got a leg up on everybody because I'm the only one in this group that grew up going to an outdoor toilet."

The reality is money

Going to the toilet - that's what some viewers think about Celebrity Mole, Are You Hot? and this explosion of reality TV.

To the networks, it's going to the bank. Nine of the top 21 shows this season for viewers ages 18-49, the demographic most advertisers desire, are unscripted reality series.

The 18-49 ratings start with American Idol Wednesday (No. 1) and American Idol Tuesday (No. 2). Close behind are Joe Millionaire (No. 4), Survivor: Thailand (No. 8), The Bachelor (No. 10), The Bachelorette (No. 11); Big Brother (No. 18), Fear Factor (No. 20) and Celebrity Mole (No. 21).

"There's no way the broadcast networks are going to ignore a genre that has the kind of appeal that alternative series do, particularly for 18- to 34-year-olds. That's an audience that's been elusive for the broadcast networks," says Susan Lyne, ABC Entertainment president.

Lyne and ABC Entertainment chairman Lloyd Braun promise that scripted series - everything from My Wife and Kids to NYPD Blue - will remain the network's core business. And when scripted shows like Push, Nevada or MDs flop, they will fill those holes with reality franchises, such as The Bachelor/Bachelorette and maybe Get Me Out of Here!

"Most of the reality series that you see us putting on the air in the next six months are franchises that we believe we will be able to bring back," Lyne says, "whether it's doing them twice a year for six episodes at a time, or, if I'm A Celebrity works, doing it in sweeps twice a year, 15 straight days."

Demand triggers supply

Reality always will be part of the modern TV landscape. How much depends on us. When we burned out on TV magazines, the number of magazine shows dropped. When we overdosed on sitcoms, the networks put on more dramas.

When we tire of reality shows, the tide will turn. Maybe it has started. Are You Hot? started out cold last Thursday, a distant third behind Survivor: The Amazon and NBC's Must See TV lineup.

Now comes 15 nights about celebrities roughing it Down Under. Are they crazy? Are we crazy? The fad won't pass until enough viewers say: "Hey, get this out of here!"

E-mail jkiesewetter@enquirer.com