By MIKE LOPRESTI
Gannett News Service

Here's a polite request to the women's basketball teams at Duke and Texas. Nothing personal. No offense. A trifling appeal, really. Lose. Please.

That way, Connecticut and Tennessee can play for the national championship next Tuesday, which would mean Geno Auriemma vs. Pat Summitt, which is like Grant against Lee, without the bayonets.

You haven't noticed? Been too busy moaning over your men's bracket, wondering whatever happened to Kentucky, and who let Marquette in.

But here's the thing about men's basketball. At UCLA, they hope they've found the next John Wooden. At North Carolina, applications are being taken for the next Dean Smith.

The men, in other words, keep trying to replace their biggest legends.

The women have them coaching right now. And for no additional charge, they seem to be annoyed with each other. A tournament can't be boring when it's the giants doing the trash talking.

What was it the philosopher said, the only things certain in life are death, taxes, and Tennessee or Connecticut in the women's Final Four?

Sometimes both of them. Like now.

There have been 22 Final Fours for the women. That's 88 spots. Tennessee and Connecticut own 21 of them. And nine of the titles.

Summitt and the Lady Vols used to be queens of the mountain. Then along came the interlopers, Auriemma and the Huskies.

This season, Summitt wins her 800th game.

But Auriemma's team runs its winning streak to 70.

This season, Summitt puts together a veteran team obliged to atone for last spring, when it lost to Connecticut in the semifinals 79-56.

"We have something to prove," she said just last week.

But Auriemma replaces four starters, goes 35-1, and returns to the Final Four, sounding nearly drained from the effort at the East Regional.

"It's like Notre Dame going to a bowl game," Auriemma said. "I know you're supposed to celebrate, but guess what? If you don't do it on a regular basis (at Connecticut), there'll be somebody else answering questions up here."

He starts no seniors, two freshman, and puts the fate of every game in the hands of Diana Taurasi, a Swiss Army knife of a player, who reminds her coach of ...

"Larry Bird," Auriemma said. "That's the last person I can think of that had a cast of players that nobody will ever remember."

Connecticut beat Tennessee 63-62 in overtime this season, its fifth win in the past six meetings, including twice in the Final Four.

That's called a rivalry. Now it's even better.

Auriemma bemoaned in The Hartford Courant the other day about the friendship between Summitt and Villanova coach Harry Perretta, a longtime Auriemma chum.

"If I see them one more time together on ESPN," Auriemma said, "I'm going to throw up.

"He dumped me for the evil empire."

One senses a tongue-in-cheek element here, as Auriemma said he was jealous.

Summitt was not amused. "I think," she said, "you could also put paranoid in there."

So while the men talk about Roy Williams' quest and the Syracuse zone, the women could have the evil empire vs. a paranoid. Sounds like the perfect championship game.

But Connecticut must first beat Texas. Whose coach, Jody Conradt has won 817 games.

And Tennessee must get by Duke. Whose coach, Gail Goestenkors, has been to three Final Four teams in the past five years and beat the Lady Vols 76-55 this year.

So it might not happen.

But we can hope, anyway, while Summitt also grouses that Auriemma has made sport of her age.

"Look at the record," she said. "He's just one year behind me."

Summitt is 50. Auriemma is 49. Both in their prime, when it comes to getting in each other's way.