When the U.S. troops get done fumigating Saddam's palaces, maybe they can come home and liberate Cincinnati. They'd find that the scenery looks very familiar.

We have our own United Nations "collaborative" that does nothing but talk and delay and undermine the police troops who are trying to protect us.

We have a Hans Blix federal monitor who has to keep looking for problems or he's out of a job. So far, the city and the police have adopted dozens of reforms to comply with toothless U.N. collaborative resolutions. The defiant Iraq plaintiffs have done nothing. But whom did the monitor blast? The city and the cops, of course.

A veto by France

We have protesters who think they can get peace by breaking windows, and appeasers who cater to demands from boycott dictators the way Germany fills Saddam's orders for gas masks.

We even have a federal judge who acts like France. She sides with the boycotters who threaten our city, and blasts our elected City Council members for daring to criticize them.

The boycott demands change like the flavor of the week. Maybe it's time for a list of demands to them for a change.

Such as:

• Stop spouting anti-Semitic and racist mustard gas and publicly condemn the people who do.

• Show us your membership. Federal Judge Susan Dlott doesn't seem to think it's important. But when you make demands for $1.5 billion in "programs," we have a right to know who's asking.

• Do something to reduce the number of teen pregnancies that aggravate poverty and school dropouts, which are far bigger obstacles than exaggerated racism.

• Teach young people not to run, fight or lie when they are confronted by a cop.

Ridiculous? Thank you

• Help the police clean up crime by reporting it. Stop pretending nobody saw drug deals, beatings and murders in front of 20 witnesses.

• Speak up about black-on-black violence and killings, which are a far greater health hazard than collateral damage from a cop.

• Condemn hate crimes and violence, rioting, looting and assaults on innocent whites.

• Recognize that protests and boycotts have consequences, and take responsibility for lost jobs and economic hardship on people who can least afford it.

• If you want to talk the talk of moral leadership, start walking the walk. Church leaders who fail to condemn people who bear false witness against our city and our police are hypocrites. Community leaders who stand by and say nothing are wimps.

• Boycott drugs and crime that are killing our neighborhoods.

I suppose some people will say this list of demands is "unreasonable.'' No problem. It can be amended daily to refine it from "unreasonable'' to "totally ludicrous.''

Besides, why should only one side be allowed to make ridiculous, divisive demands?

I say it's my way or the highway to Baghdad on the Ohio River.

E-mail pbronson@enquirer.com or call 768-8301.