Sex. Violence. Sex. Jealousy. Sex. Mayhem. Sex. Perversion.

WEEKEND MEMOS

'Weekend memos' give our editorial writers a chance to express their own opinions, comment on topics they have been writing about, or take a lighter approach. The opinions in 'Memos' do not always follow the Enquirer's editorial positions.

Did I mention sex?

Whatever you think of the Jerry Springer Show - whenever you bother to go mind-slumming and think about it - one thing is hard to deny:

It's so ... operatic.

So it shouldn't be Shocking! that an opera on the Springer show has been written and produced. The surprise is that nobody thought of it before this. Jerry Springer: The Opera opened in London's Royal National Theatre this week to raving reviews. The Financial Times called it "uproarious, astonishing, and, in the seriousness of its irony, utterly disarming." ITV News predicted Rocky Horror Show-like cult status for it. "It's about the Jerry Springerification of our culture," added the FT. This is frightening to the uncomfortably large degree that it is true. As for Jerry ...

"It's a real opera," gushed Springer, who visited the Enquirer on Thursday as part of a tour to gauge his chances if he runs for the U.S. Senate next year. But that's a perversion for another episode.

"If you think of great operas," mused Springer, who no doubt often thinks of great operas, "it's our show." Snicker if you will, but he has a point. Springer's themes are almost tame next to many opera plots. Behind the fancy costumes, glamorous settings and high-toned language are story lines every bit as seamy and steamy and slimy as the pathetic, vulgar psyche-flashing of Springer's guests. Like his show, opera thrives on intense, overlapping vocal, emotional and physical conflicts.

And after all, the title of Mozart's opera Die Entfuhrung aus dem Serail is actually an 18th century Austrian slang expression meaning "I'm Cheating on My Pregnant Extra-Terrestrial Brother-in-Law." Or not.

Springer viewed the work-in-progress at last summer's Edinburgh Festival Fringe. "I was blown away," he said. "I get killed in the first act, spend the second act in hell, but I get out for my Final Thought." How nice. Even Don Giovanni didn't have it that good. And he never paid by check.

That Final Thought, by the way: "There's no absolute for good and evil." What a cool campaign slogan.

Ray Cooklis