By Maggie Downs
The Cincinnati Enquirer

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PROM NIGHT SCRAPBOOK

He kissed me during the slow dance.

That much hasn't changed.

Almost everything else has.

Ten years after attending my first prom, I went back to do it all over again at Norwood High School's prom.

I found that there are subtle differences from 1993. Drinking seems more important, sex less so. The girls are more stylish, the boys are more casual, and all of them listen to rap music that would make their parents blush.

Yet through it all, prom endures as a magical night when one kiss on the cheek during a slow dance means the world.

Prom season kicks into high gear this weekend, and thousands of Tristaters will don tuxes and pastel gowns during the upcoming month. But at Norwood's prom last weekend, the students were divided into two distinct groups - those who love the ritual of prom, and those who think it's lame.

I was in neither of those groups.

I was a 26-year-old who got a second chance at prom, and Norwood offered it.

As much as I hated to admit it, prom is important. It's a rite of passage. And this was my opportunity to set the record from 1993 straight.

I was heading into this one with maturity, 10 years of wisdom and a credit card - everything I didn't have when I was in high school. This time, I thought, things would be different.

And they were. Consider:

• 2003: Legal for me to have a glass of wine before prom.

1993: Bribed the limo driver to buy us a case of wine coolers.

• 2003: Popular song of the night: "Back That Azz Up."

1993: Banned from prom: "Rump Shaker."

• 2003: Girls wore flip-flops underneath their long gowns.

1993: Had shoes dyed to match a black dress.

• 2003: Hung out at Hap's Irish Pub, then my apartment post-prom.

1993: Made out in a shadowy Meijer parking lot. In a Chevette.

• 2003: Forgot my camera.

1993: Forgot my camera.

'Twist and Shout'

The prom scene at the Schiff Family Conference Center at Xavier University was disconcerting - angelic girls and their handsome dates lurching to the unedited lyrics of 50 Cent, Nelly and Eminem.

The place was also haunted by the musical ghosts of proms past, with such oldies as M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice and "Whoomp! There it is" in heavy rotation. Still many students took to the dance floor, often forming a circle and letting one person have the spotlight.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, girls were perched in between the sinks on the counter - the dribbling liquid soap edging frighteningly close to their satin dresses.

"Prom blows," said Corey Adams, 17.

"The music sucks. Food sucks, too," added Karly Morgan, 17. "It all sucks."

Their friends, who peered into the mirror to add more lip gloss and adjust their strapless dresses, nodded in agreement.

In reality, prom rarely meets expectations. Unless, of course, the expectations aren't that high.

"I thought it would be boring," said Mark Menges, 17. "It's living up to that."

For me, the bar wasn't set that high, as proms past haven't been stellar. There was the time I was trapped in a limo with Touchy Feely Guy. Then there was the Guy Who Vomited and Cried, whom I ditched to go to a rave instead. And then there was Goth Boy, who showed up depressed and late - and with a corsage of dead roses.

Others have a better time of it, like couple Arielle Bryant, 15, and Nathan Atwood, 17. The two have been looking forward to the evening for the whole month they've been dating.

"This is really the first time we've been alone without parents and stuff," Nathan said, shyly holding his girlfriend's hand.

'Lady in Red'

Prom-going girls soon learn there's a reason why there are only a few letters' difference between "dress" and "stress."

"I really freaked out about finding a dress," said Crystal Fogleman, 16, who wore a dark, silky gown.

As a teen, my parents never wanted to shell out a bundle of cash for a dress I'd wear just once. However, having attended proms in some ghastly gowns, I could now easily justify the importance of a Jessica McClintock dress. So what if I have to live on bread and mustard for a month? Prom photos last forever.

Then there are the extraneous activities that are almost a prom prerequisite - hair, nails, makeup.

"The worst part was getting from my hair to my makeup appointment," said Britany Baker, 16. "It was stressful."

I, too, scheduled appointments for hair and makeup, trying to make the prom process as easy as possible. The makeup, done by the fabulous M.A.C. at Kenwood, was incredible. My hair was unfortunate, another reminder of my high school years.

Even shoe fashions have changed, with most girls bringing two pairs of footwear to the dance - dress shoes for photos, sandals for the rest of the night.

"You want to be comfortable," said Nichole Wiseman, 17, lifting the hem of her dress to reveal black plastic flip-flops.

The boys take fewer pains to look good, though the pressure is still on.

"By the time prom comes around, you just want it to be over," said John Shepard, 18.

John and his friend Andrew Grevas, 18, threw fashion rules out the window when they wore gaudy orange and powder-blue tuxedos, complete with top hats and canes, as seen in the movie, Dumb and Dumber.

The duo hatched the plan in seventh grade and waited until senior year to execute it. They thought it was hysterical; their dates, however, were skeptical.

"My date was supportive, but in an apprehensive sort of way," John said.

'You're the Inspiration'

Finding a great date is perhaps the only thing that rivals the importance of hunting down a great outfit.

"I'm miserable," said one girl, who wished to remain anonymous, as she sobbed into toilet paper in the girls' restroom. "I thought he loved me."

This could explain why some people opt to go stag.

"Dates are too much of a hassle," said Kelly Sutliff, 17.

Each year, more and more students - both males and females - attend prom with groups of friends.

"Nobody is going to look at you weird if you come with your friends," said Katie Walker, 17. "We're all friends here."

In my case, going with friends was not an option, since I was the only weirdo old lady attending the high school prom. So, for about a month prior to the dance, finding the perfect date became my obsession.

The selection was a scientific process. Candidates had to meet the following requirements: Fun. Easygoing. Attractive. Tall enough for me to wear heels. Most importantly, must not act inappropriately with high school girls.

In the end, my friend Brian emerged a winner.

That left the problem of asking him.

"So, uh ... what are you doing April 25?" I asked, before nearly hyperventilating. "I have this thing I'm going to, and you just have to, uh, dress up a little. Like a tux maybe. And, um, ... really, it's no big deal. It's just this little prom thing."

He said yes.

I should have taken the route of Nathan Atwood, who used technology to pop the big question to Arielle.

"I asked her over the Internet," he blushed. "I didn't want to do it face-to-face."

'End of the Road'

After prom ends and the corsages begin to wilt, the real action begins, said some students, who asked not to be named for this story. In dozens of conversations, almost every teen-ager mentioned attending some sort of post-prom party.

"That's not a Norwood thing. That's a teenage thing," said one boy.

Norwood High School does not host an after-prom party, as many schools do. To compensate, some parents rent hotel rooms for parties. Some students rent their own. Others attend adult-chaperoned co-ed sleepovers.

"You can definitely avoid pressure on prom night. It all depends on who you hang out with," said Andy Clark, 17, the prom king.

At the dance, students who smell like alcohol are immediately sent home. But that's not to say drinking doesn't happen.

"About three beers are average beforehand," said one girl, an honor roll student. "That doesn't include the people who get stoned."

Still, most of the alcohol-related activity happens afterward - but only for the students who are seeking it.

"Nobody pressures you to drink," said one girl. "That's more beer for us."

The teen-agers said they purchase their own alcohol from a variety of stores and drive-thrus in Norwood.

"If you wear a low-cut top, they'll sell you anything," one female said.

Sexual activity, surprisingly, seemed to be a lesser priority. Gauging from conversations, it appeared as though most teens are already sexually active in some way. And that makes prom more of a party, less of an ABC Afterschool Special about losing one's virginity.

"Someone asked me if I was going to follow the prom tradition of ... well, you know," said one boy. "But that's not for me."

'Last Dance'

During all this, I felt so, so old.

Only the day before prom did I realize that not only had I been an uncool teen-ager. Now I was going to prom as an uncool old person.

I had tried to go into this prom with no expectations for a magical night and no illusions for romantic fulfillment. Therefore, I wouldn't be disappointed. Instead, I was unintentionally sucked into the black hole of prom.

Standing in the bathroom with the obviously cool girls, I realized how I'd been transported back to my awkward teenage years all over again. Suddenly, I was examining my pores for blackheads, fretting about bloating and agonizing over what couple I should sit with at the dance.

It's also tough to be 26 years old and at the prom and not be jaded.

I watched couples with the first blushes of puppy love and remembered my first romances. Now at least two of my prom dates are married - one to a woman - and I have yet to have a successful relationship.

I saw groups of friends ham it up for photographs, as I tried to remember my high school buddies' names. Two of my friends are now exotic dancers. One was incarcerated for drug trafficking. Others have died.

Just when I was getting too pensive, Nathan Cash, 16, and his date Heather Powell, 18, eagerly made a beeline to the dance floor during the first notes of "Unforgettable."

My date extended his hand in an offer to join them.

And we danced.

E-mail mdowns@enquirer.com