By Kristina Goetz
The Cincinnati Enquirer

Rob Conner with his dad, Bob, at home in Montgomery. (Gary Landers photo) | ZOOM |

It has been six years of perseverance, unconditional love and one Xavier University degree in the making.

Rob Conner, 25, brought the brains, the drive. He provided the keen ear and wry wit that professors and students across campus readily recognize. But he wouldn't have made it through the classroom doors of Alter Hall had it not been for his father.

Since 1997, Bob Conner has been the eyes and hands for his youngest son. He has literally stood by him for the duration of his son's college career, wheeling him to class, taking notes and even typing papers as Rob dictated the content.

But on Saturday, the 60-year-old father will sit in the audience at XU's commencement, cheering on his favorite graduate. He'll watch as Rob's brother Mark wheels him across the Cintas Center stage to accept an associate degree in liberal arts.

"I will be yelling and cheering," Bob says. "I want it to be his day. I don't want to be on the stage because it's Rob's day. But I certainly will be taking pictures."

Seven years ago this week, Rob Conner was lifting weights two weeks before his Sycamore High School graduation when he fell to the floor with a stroke. Soon, pneumonia and meningitis set in. Three times, doctors told the Conner family that Rob would not live.

IF YOU GO

What: Xavier University commencement. When: 9 a.m. for undergraduates and 2 p.m. for graduate students. Where: Cintas Center on the school's campus in Evanston Information: The 1,868 students receiving degrees include summer and winter 2002 graduates and May 2003 graduates. Speakers: Ross Love, president/CEO and owner of Blue Chip Enterprises, a Roselawn company he founded in 2001, will speak to undergraduates. Graduate students will hear a speech from Edmund Pellegrino, a Georgetown University professor of medicine and medical ethics. Cost: Both events are free to the public. Tickets are not required.

Each time, he proved physicians wrong, but he was left legally blind and with limited use of his hands. The 18-year-old, who was athletic and involved in martial arts, had to learn to speak all over again. Today his words are slow and slurred.

Still, Rob wanted so much to attend college. But how?

Rob couldn't drive. He couldn't see to read the textbooks. He might not be understood if asked a question by a professor.

To Bob Conner, the answer was simple. He would stand by his son the same way the entire family did for weeks in the intensive care unit at Bethesda North Hospital, for months of rehabilitation at Drake Center and then for outpatient therapy at home.

"It's what any father would do," Bob says.

So after a family meeting in July 1996, the Conners decided mom Shelia would continue working for Procter & Gamble in Mason and that Bob, already near retirement, would retire from the U.S. Treasury as a labor relations specialist and spend school days with Rob.

Bob was already teaching collective bargaining and labor relations as an adjunct professor at University of Cincinnati's main campus, so the two started with one class per quarter in 1997 at UC's Raymond Walters College in Blue Ash.

The next year they increased to two per quarter.

In 2001, when it was time to decide whether Rob would move to UC's main campus, the pair met Jane Link, director of academic advising and recruiting at Xavier, at a college career fair.

After one campus visit, the family was sold on the Jesuit school of 6,500 students. Rob started taking two courses in January 2002, and Link became his adviser. Since then, he has taken three courses every semester.

At first, Link worried about how Rob would fare and whether students would accept him.

"I remember the first day he came in," Link says. "He had these ribbons around the wheels of his wheelchair and I was teasing him about his racing wheels."

She discovered that students quickly responded to Rob's gregarious personality and that professors loved having the Conners in class. Soon the two nailed down a routine.

They attended every class together, Bob taking notes and Rob piping up when he had something to say. Shelia made flash cards with large letters so Rob could study Greek for philosophy class. Bob recorded lecture notes so his son could listen to them on tape before an exam. In the summer, the younger Conner listened to books on tape to prepare him for the semester ahead. In four years, his mother says, he has listened to more than 1,000 books on tape, in addition to his textbook assignments.

"There really is no other way," Rob says of his father's help. "He drives me and wheels me, which I am not able to do."

Between classes the two spent time in the Gallagher Student Center studying or grabbing a bite to eat.

"I take notes from the lecture," Bob says. "My general rule is when I'm in class with Rob I never participate unless the professor asks me a direct question. I think that infringes on Rob's experience."

"And you would be correct," Rob interjects, drawing a laugh from parents and brother Craig.

The "gruesome twosome" is what sociology professor Michael Weissbuch calls them.

"It's like frick and frack," he says. "When you see one, you expect to see the other. They succeed remarkably well. I probably tease Rob more than I do most students. They've made some absolutely dead classes lively."

Rob contributes often, Weissbuch says.

"Rob is typically the most prepared student in the class," he says. "It's really interesting to watch them work as a team. Rob usually takes the lead. Whatever he can't do directly, his dad can.

"It shows a level of love and cooperation that you hope to see in any relationship."

Neither of Rob's parents take credit for his success. Bob calls Shelia the backbone of the household. Shelia praises both her husband and son, calling Rob an inspiration to the whole family.

But others recognize their sacrifice.

"It's hard not to get emotional about it," says older brother Craig, 28. "You've got Dad and Mom who have totally dedicated their lives to all of their sons. But this is above and beyond."

Rob appreciates the generosity.

"The majority of people put in similar situations would not do what he has done," he says of his father.

The two are already planning to return to campus this summer to start on the next series of classes Rob will need to earn a bachelor's degree. Eventually, he plans to attend a seminary to become a hospital chaplain.

"I would like to try to minister to those in similar situations," Rob says. "I am trying to serve the Lord. He has given me a second chance at life."

E-mail kgoetz@enquirer.com.