WEEKEND MEMOS

'Weekend memos' give our editorial writers a chance to express their own opinions, comment on topics they have been writing about, or take a lighter approach. The opinions in 'Memos' do not always follow the Enquirer's editorial positions.

The trump card is finally on the table. On Tuesday, U.S. Surgeon General Richard Carmona told a House committee he supports "banning or abolishing tobacco products." It was an unprecedented statement.

"I see no need for any tobacco products in society," the straight-shooting former Arizona SWAT team doctor told a flummoxed tobacco-state Rep. Ed Whitfield, R-Ky., who likely asked the question figuring Carmona would blow smoke.

Carmona's only real power is the bully pulpit. But surgeons general can get a national debate going, and sooner or later the unthinkable becomes thinkable: Philip Morris now supports a bill to let the Food and Drug Administration regulate tobacco, a concept thought absurd just a few years ago. Its ulterior motive, let us note, is getting the FDA to OK "safer" products it is developing.

But banning tobacco? We've gone down the prohibition road before, with disastrous effect. Is America ready for "smokeasies"? "Bathtub stogies"? Let's get real. The last thing the feds, the states, trial lawyers, candidates in both parties and even anti-smoking advocates want is the abolition of tobacco. It's their cash cow.

Loss of tobacco tax revenue could bankrupt the states and force government to get smaller. No wonder some Democrats think Carmona's move is part of a White House plot.

Tobacco is really bad for you. It kills you. We all know it. We've known it for centuries. A Library of Congress-affiliated Web site has cartoons and articles from the old Harper's Weekly showing that the addictive properties and specific health dangers of tobacco were common knowledge in mid-19th century America (tobacco.harpweek.com).

But many of us - 45 million - smoke anyway. And 400,000 of us a year pay the ultimate price for it. Yet we feign surprise each time a report "uncovers" tobacco companies' "deception." Juries award billions to hapless victims duped by Big Tobacco.

It's such nonsense. If we really wanted to stop our self-carnage, we'd ban more than tobacco. We'd abolish fast food, SUVs, cell phones, meat, dairy products and alcohol. We'd bicycle to work. We'd eat carrot sticks.

Of course, 45 million of us would try to light them.

Ray Cooklis