OLYMPIA FIELDS, Ill. - At the U.S. Open, everyone is Sisyphus sooner or later. Players push the rock up the hill, higher and higher, then they hit in the vacant-lot rough and the rock rolls them like a grape. That's just how it is. The Open is designed to identify the world's best golfers and systematically torture them.

Sounds like fun. When does it start?

We're not sure what we're watching here at Olympia Fields, a place not nearly equal to its name. Maybe the John Deere Classic. Because for two rounds, this United States Open has been as genuine as Vijay Singh. The co-leader and all-around great guy responded to a question about switching caddies this week by saying, "I get along well with everybody."

Yeah, Veej. You are the world.

Singh shot a 63 Friday, further spitting on the Open's tough-guy image. That tied the record for lowest Open round in history. It also set the course record, which is notable only because Woody Austin had set it about three hours earlier, with a 64.

Yes, this U.S. Open is grueling business.

Maybe the United States Golf Association officials turned the screws overnight, magically transforming Olympia Fields into the Course From Hell. Maybe they put the pins in evil spots, or rented a few 747s to hover over the greens and dry them to a crisp. Because anything short of that means this course is only halfway through the flogging it's going to take.

"The only thing they can do is make the greens faster," Singh sung, "and I don't know how they can do that."

The place has been covered in a low-cloud haze all week. The lack of sun not only has kept the greens soft as bread dough, it has kept the rough from growing. Plus, there has been no wind. All that means is that, for the lucky players, working here has been Club Med with courtesy cars.

"In the U.S. Open, there's nothing wrong with making pars," Tiger Woods insisted. Nope, not if you want to finish tied for 50th. Woods decided the rough here was "fair." At the real U.S. Open, "fair rough" is an oxymoron.

Woods played a beautiful round, by Open standards. He shot a patient, exacting 66 that even included a couple of typically Tiger-ish oh-my-god shots: a 235-yard 3-wood at the par-5 6th that landed 12 feet from the pin; a snaking, sidehill 40-foot birdie putt at No. 4; and a couple of par-saving up-and-downs that normally define this event's winner.

For his trouble, Woods wasn't even invited to the interview room. At 4-under, Woods is where he needs to be, three shots behind. But not if he really believes par is a good score. Par is for suckers at poor ol' Olympia Fields.

"I think Annika would have put it in," someone yelled at Singh, as Vijay arrived at the 14th green after hitting an approach to within 3 feet. The fan was ejected, and Vijay waved his putter at him.

Correction. "I was waving at my caddie," Singh said. Right.

The trick is not to beat the Open. It's to keep the Open from beating you. You don't play longball. You just want to advance the runners. Except this year. When par is for suckers.

"Any time you're under par in the U.S. Open, you've got a chance," Woods said, which means everyone from here to Ben Hogan is still in it. It ought to be quite a finish.

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