News flash - "Ice Cream Shops Serving Coronaries in Cones"

The folks at the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) really know how to kill an appetite.

The headline above was included in the group's July/August Nutrition Action Healthletter. As far as I can tell, their point is that the world would be a safer place without turtle sundaes.

I came across this scoop as I was scanning news sites for the latest on Saddam, the president's stance on gay marriages, John Poindexter's futures market on world terror and catastrophe, and the Reds' wholesale disassembly. These all are important stories, but when I saw the headline from CSPI my heart froze like a lump of Graeter's double chocolate chip.

I swear, I had absolutely no idea that ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream and candy sprinkles could be bad for you when combined in large quantities.

The food police at CSPI lay it out in stark detail:

• An empty waffle cone from Ben & Jerry's dipped in chocolate has 320 calories and half a day's worth of saturated fat. Fill the cone with something as dangerous as Chunky Monkey and the numbers zoom higher than a one-pound rack of ribs smothered in barbecue sauce. You might as well put a gun to your head.

• Something called a Mud Pie Mojo from Cold Stone Creamery, a concoction of coffee ice cream, roasted almonds, fudge, Oreos, peanut butter and whipped topping carries as many heart stopping calories and grams of saturated fat as two personal pan pepperoni pizzas from Pizza Hut. The company should change its name to Stone Cold Cloggery.

• The Mint Chip Dazzler from Haagen-Dazs (hot fudge, Oreos, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and three scoops of mint chip ice cream) is the nutritional equivalent of a T-bone steak, Caesar salad and baked potato with sour cream.

"It's as if these ice cream shops were competing with each other to see who could inflict the greatest toll on our arteries and waistlines," said CSPI senior nutritionist Jayne Hurley.

CSPI is responding to this threat to the public health by calling for restaurants, particularly ice cream stores, to put calorie counts and other nutritional information on their menus right next to the Candyland fantasy pictures of the sweet indulgences. "If you choose to splurge, your choice should at least be an informed one," according to the organization's press release.

Oh please! Pass the nuts.

Are there really people out there who don't know that an ice cream sundae is fattening? I've been on lots of diets and none of them feature the sugar and fat-laden empty calories that you find in a double-dip.

CSPI was founded in 1971 by a group of scientists who wanted to protect consumers by studying the impact of science and technology on society. I don't have any problem with consumer protection, or promoting good nutrition. But the problem with CSPI is that it has become a caricature of itself. It has turned consumer protection into consumer insult.

Nobody ever mistook a banana split for a plate of steamed vegetables. Overeating is a problem of self-control, not truth-in-labeling. If you want bean sprouts, go to a salad bar, not the self-serve frozen custard machine.

The whole reason restaurants print menus is because people want to have choices.

Diners already know when their pants are too tight. There is no need to serve up an extra helping of guilt just because they order dessert.

Contact David Wells at 768-8310; fax: 768-8610; e-mail: dwells@enquirer.com. Cincinnati.Com keyword: Wells.