It used to be that comedians mined politics for some of their best material. Nowadays the candidates are standup acts themselves.

I keep thinking about some poor Iraqi sitting in Baghdad trying to comprehend the new world order. His country has been invaded, his dictator deposed and the people now in charge have been spreading the word that this was all done so his country has a chance to practice freedoms like those enjoyed in the United States.

His world turned upside down, he sits in his house waiting for the water and electricity to come back on. Finally it does. His TV comes alive with CNN and he gets his first view of democracy at work: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Larry Flynt and Gary Coleman! California, as we have been told, is a state about the size of Iraq. This will be the mother of all elections.

As of Friday morning there were supposedly more than 400 people signed up to run for governor in the second part of the bizarre California recall system. I heard one commentator remark that with a $3,500 filing fee, if a million people declared, the state's towering deficit could be cut in half.

This whole recall thing is a mystery to me. I keep trying to figure out what so many people think Gov. Gray Davis did that warrants chucking him out mid-term.

The Web site recallgraydavis.com, posted by people who want the governor gone, lists five reasons for the recall. The first three would apply equally well to Ohio's Bob Taft, who also won re-election last year:

•  Lied to public about budgetary matters solely to gain re-election: Remember before the election, when Taft said it was too soon to be specific about Ohio's expected deficit?

•  Lied to voters about his plans to raise taxes: Maybe not lied, but Taft certainly kept quiet about it before November.

•  Pushes for new form of taxation: Talk to your cab driver, spa manager or satellite TV installer.

I don't mean to suggest anyone should try to recall Bob Taft over any of this - certainly not to be replaced by the Terminator, the Pornographer or that has-been from Diff'rent Strokes. I'm just noting that Californians seem to be in a lather over things the rest of the country takes for granted.

The difference between California and Ohio is that in Ohio, former Cincinnati Mayor Jerry Springer decides he can't run for senator because too many people think his television show is too sleazy. In California, Springer would have the status of elder statesman.

Mid-term elections in this country have traditionally been seen as warm-ups for the quadrennial White House sweepstakes. If the presidential candidates were to adopt campaign tactics like those being used in the California recall, the networks could go back to gavel-to-gavel convention coverage. Consider:

The leading contender announced his candidacy on The Tonight Show. His most recent job experience was working as a killer robot who showed off his muscular, middle-aged tush.

The second most famous candidate in the race is famous for showing off other people's skin. He once played the judge in a movie that immortalized his own obscenity prosecution.

The third "name" candidate in the race, Coleman, was quoted Thursday in The New York Times saying, "God forbid that I actually might win. I'm the least qualified."

No politician ever spoke truer words.

Contact David Wells at 768-8310; fax: 768-8610; e-mail: dwells@enquirer.com. Cincinnati.Com keyword: Wells.