By Michele Day
Enquirer contributor

From left, Nancy Miller, Cathy Brown, Kathi Hassler and Kathy Herold. (Craig Ruttle photo) | ZOOM |

More than 20 years after they left Blessed Sacrament Elementary School in Fort Mitchell, Lisa Pitzer and three of her friends remain some of the most important people in one another's lives.

"Our personalities click with each other," explains Pitzer, who lives in Crescent Springs. "And we have so much history.

"We've stayed together because we need each other. It's different than how you need a spouse.There's nobody who knows each one of us better than the other ones of us."

More than 55 readers responded when we asked for stories about powerful female friendship bonds. They wrote about friendships that have evolved over more than 50 years, as well as connections established in a matter of weeks. They mentioned long phone conversations and continuous e-mail exchanges.

They told tales of shared adventures and common interests, boisterous pajama parties and rowdy road trips, quiet girl talks and soothing comfort sessions.

"Friendship groups are almost the easiest of intimate relationships to keep going," says Jan Yager, author of Friendshifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives (Hannacroix Creek Books Inc.; $22.95). "By definition there are no legal ties, no financial obligations. Because friendship is an optional role, your friends are just there because they're enjoying it."

Four Frumps

Nancy Miller's ex-husband used to complain that she dressed "too frumpy."

When she told her girlfriends, they said "if you're frumpy, we're frumpy," Miller recalls. "That's when we decided we'd be the Four Fairfield Frumpy Friends."

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The Frumpy Friends - Kathy Herold, Cathy Brown, Kathi Hassler and Miller - have been sharing memories, laughs, advice, crises and shopping trips for more than 30 years.

They've bonded during great adventures. Like the time they almost sunk a pontoon boat in Grand Lake St. Marys, in west-central Ohio. "None of us are boaters," Miller explains. "Someone yelled, 'Look at that,' and everybody ran to the front of the boat. Then the boat started to take on water."

Or the time they were driving through Amish country at night, with Brown behind the wheel. She was so busy looking over her shoulder to talk to the Frumps in the backseat that she almost ran into a buggy.

They've even found camaraderie and humor during tough times. Like the night shortly after Miller's divorce in 2000, when they decided to have a pajama party. And then they decided to go shopping - in their pajamas.

As they age - all four are about 50 - their friendship grows deeper, Miller says.

"We can tell each other the most intimate things," she said. "We can laugh at each other and help each other. There's just a bond there that no one could ever break.

"When we get together it's like a whole different atmosphere. You don't have to be a mom or wife or anything else. You can just be yourself."

Babies on board

Jennifer Morrissey and her friends, who all attended St. Ursula Academy in Walnut Hills during the 1980s, have turned pregnancy into a group project.

The foursome now have a total of seven children - and each woman has had at least one girlfriend with whom she could share every stage of pregnancy and motherhood - from morning sickness to epidurals, from fussy infants to first grade.

"We're all in the same boat," Morrissey says. "We can call each other and say we've had a bad day. When your kids are driving you nuts, at least you can commiserate and know that every other mother goes through the same hard times."

Currently, the four friends are commiserating more than ever. That's because Morrissey, who lives in Newtown, along with Amie Haller of Mason, Jenee Ferguson of Western Hills and Kristen Yearout of Norwalk, Conn., are all pregnant. Their babies are due in October, December, January and February.

"The pregnancy thing is hilarious," Morrissey says. "If someone could tape our conversations, they'd be amazed." Eavesdroppers would hear discussion on ballooning weight and bouts with nausea, the basics of prenatal testing and the best bargains in maternity wear.

Morrissey says all pregnancies should be shared with girlfriends. "I've told them all, 'If I ever do this again, I need at least one of you guys with me,' " she says. "That's the only way I can get through it."

Wild Women of West Chester

They wear purple sequined mini-dresses padded in strategic places, spike-heeled ankle boots with purple marabou trim, elbow-length white gloves, long red wigs, dark sunglasses and rhinestone tiaras.

The Wild Women of West Chester Sweet Potato Queens know how to make an entrance. These three friends - Jan Swan, Melanie Stewart and Betsy Siebert - are neighbors who discovered they had a connection about 12 years ago. They began doing things together - taking nightly walks for exercise, planning outings to movies and shopping trips.

Then they read Jill Conner Browne's best-selling book about fallen Southern belles who crown themselves Sweet Potato Queens. "We said this just sounds like too much fun," says Swan. "We decided we needed to form a chapter of the Sweet Potato Queens."

The Queens made their first royal appearance during a neighborhood parade last year. "One of the people in the neighborhood had a pickup truck and we stood in the back of it," Swan recalls. "We had a sign made of poster board that said we were the grand marshalettes."

Since then, the Queens have gone on to grander appearances, such as the West Chester Memorial Day Parade. They'll appear at the Olde West Chester Christmas Parade in November and the big-time Sweet Potato Queen Parade, featuring similar royal groups from around the country, in March in Jackson, Miss.

"It's all about having fun together and being yourself," Swan says. "That's what our friendship is about - being ourselves around each other, our real selves."

Scandinavian connection

The 10 Danish pigers (girls) share a cultural heritage, a native language and a love for Nordic food - from smoked salmon and pickled herring to Swedish meatballs and strong schnapps. "If you're a true Dane," explains Inga Grove of Wilmington, "you drink schnapps and chase it with beer and you get very lively, very fast."

Combine all those ingredients and you've got one close girlfriend group, says Grove, who has been a piger for more than 35 years.

"We are all pure Danish girls, except one American whose husband is Danish," Grove says. "She's adopted."

The women keep their friendship strong through the celebration of birthdays and Danish holidays, the preparation of gourmet luncheons and Scandinavian potlucks.

As members of the Scandinavian Society of Cincinnati, they've worked together on productions of Hans Christian Andersen plays for more than 20 years. They've carried on Danish traditions from songwriting for a wedding to craftmaking.

They've also provided support for one another through death and serious illnesses. "We function as a family in the sense that we're like sisters," Grove explains. "When someone is sad, we are sad with them, but we try to pull them up."

When someone is celebrating, the pigers like to celebrate with them. "There are three golden weddings coming up in 2005," Grove says. They'd like to mark the occasion as a group with a Danish feast in a Denmark castle. "This is a dream, but dreams start with a thought, and they sometimes become reality."