You're blitzing from the weak side? Oh. I'll audible and roll to the strong. You're jamming my receivers at the line? You're trying to be aggressive with my guys? Cool. I'll send Martin Nance out about 10 yards, pump a fake, then hit Nance in the end zone for a 26-yard TD pass while you're back at the 10, picking up your teeth.

Roethlisberger threw for 165 yards and a TD in the first quarter Saturday, 409 for the game. Kent State is not Florida State, we understand. But Roethlisberger does this to everyone.

It's going to be interesting next April, if Roethlisberger decides college was fun, but it's time to go to work. If he thinks three seasons at Miami is enough - if he can pull himself away from the many and obvious charms of being Big Man on one of the most collegial Campuses in the known universe - he will be no worse than the second quarterback taken in the NFL draft.

That's according to multiple Web sites, and to local attorney Richard Katz, who represents Seattle running back and Boone County product Shaun Alexander. "He may be the first quarterback taken. If he comes out, it's him and Eli Manning,'' says Katz. "If he seeks good advice, he'll hear he's top five or six'' overall.

Everyone knows Eli Manning, the Ole Miss senior. Bloodline-lucky, as poised as Peyton, as cocksure as Archie, his father. If your team takes Manning No. 1, you sit back and applaud. If your team takes Roethlisberger, you think Paul Tagliabue just made a big mistake.

Miami? Doesn't Tags mean Brock Berlin?

Roethlisberger has remained nationally anonymous even as the Mid-American Conference is having its best year, even as Northern Illinois has become a national story, even as Roethlisberger has piloted an offense that has averaged 45 points in its past seven games.

He isn't on Heisman Voter's mind. He isn't on the Unitas Award ballot. (You have to be a senior.) At Miami, where they have the world in its proper orbit, he is almost allowed to be Joe College.

You don't have to be a coach, a scout, an agent or a draft dweeb to see Roethlisberger came straight from the quarterback factory.

Six-foot-five, 240, great fastball, moves like his hair is on fire. Katz says coaches comment on how smart Roethlisberger has become, how mature, what a leader he is.

"We're up 27-14 beginning the fourth quarter at Colorado State,'' says Shane Montgomery, Miami's offensive coordinator and QB coach. It's fourth-and-14 from the CSU 29. The RedHawks are going for it. Roethlisberger sees a blitz formation he'd seen earlier in the game, audibles out of a pass and runs an option. On fourth-and-14.

"The running back walks into the end zone,'' Montgomery says. "Everybody in America is going to throw on that play. Ben checked out of it. He knew the option was the best play against that defense.''

The NFL loves its big, strong QBs who can move and gun a 20-yarder down the sideline. It doesn't care where the guy comes from. Recall where Steve McNair attended school, win fabulous prizes.

Roethlisberger's only decision is whether he wants to take a one-year pass on adulthood. As Katz says, "Does he want to quit being a kid? Is he ready to be a businessman?''

He hasn't addressed it, and won't until the season ends. Miami? Or Mo-Money?

We all should have such problems.

---

E-mail: pdaugherty@enquirer.com