By Samantha Critchell
The Associated Press

Many parents who say they are concerned about the "big picture" for their children - including their social and emotional skills, cognitive abilities and physical fitness - are concentrating on what seems, at least on the surface, to be a limited topic: manners.

TIPS

• Be a good role model. Be polite, use good table manners, and write thank-you notes. • Make thank-you notes together. Fold paper to make a card, and have your child decorate the front. • Read a book. As you read to your child, point out examples of good manners or sharing in the book. • Use puppet "friends." Use puppets made from socks or paper sacks to help practice good manners. • Welcome a new friend. When a new family moves into your neighborhood, your child can help make and deliver cookies to them. • Have a tea party. Pretend to have one with your child and a teddy bear. Decorate and set the table to practice table manners in a fun setting.

These parents are on the right track, says etiquette expert Peggy Post.

"Manners is so much more than table manners; it's about how we do everything in our everyday life," she says.

"Our world is so informal, so crowded, so rushed, but it also can still be mannerly with just a little effort."

According to a recent poll by Parents Magazine and HIT Entertainment, producers of Barney & Friends, good manners ranked as the top quality parents want to instill in their children. (Religious faith tied with manners as being important, followed by creativity, responsibility and a strong work ethic, the survey of more than 1,000 parents found.)

Most of the respondents reported being concerned about the erosion of manners in society, but they also blamed themselves - 66 percent said parents not spending enough time with their children was the biggest contributor to poor manners.

The poll was done as HIT was doing research for a new Barney video, explains Sue Beddingfield, the company's senior vice president of marketing. The final product is Barney's Best Manners: Your Invitation to Fun!

A lot of grown-ups think teaching children about manners means getting them to say "please" and "thank you," and to use the right utensils at the dinner table, but it's really about interacting and coping with people, explains Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post.

Peggy Post is working with HIT on manners workshops and a curriculum that will be distributed to day care centers and preschools.

"Manners are a matter of being respectful of yourself and other people," she says.

This is a lesson that can't be started too young, says Post.

By the time children are 3 years old, they have developed the ability to empathize, so instead of just issuing blanket edicts to write thank-you notes for gifts or to share toys, parents should explain why it's nice to be nice to others, Post advises.

Of course, the golden rule of parenting is do as you want your children to do.

"Exposing children to good examples of good manners is key, and then you have to make good manners fun. Manners shouldn't only be associated with super-strict parents," Post says.