By John Johnston
The Cincinnati Enquirer

Everyone has a story worth telling. At least, that's the theory. To test it, Tempo is throwing darts at the phone book. When a dart hits a name, a reporter dials the phone number and asks if someone in the home will be interviewed.

Elaine Wilmes sits at her dining room table in Alexandria, describing her 14-year-old son, David, who's at school.

"He's very energetic. He's intelligent. He likes to talk. He's a computer whiz. He just really loves computers and games. He's great at math." The freshman is in the gifted program at Campbell County High, she says.

Also, he takes several medications and regularly sees a psychiatrist to help him deal with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and bipolar disorder.

Elaine says she never knows how someone will react when she talks about the challenges facing her son. Over the years, she has encountered her share of judgmental people, some of whom labeled him a "wild child."

Her message: Don't judge me or my son "until you've walked a mile in my shoes."

Walk a mile in Elaine's shoes and you'll have a better understanding of what it means to persevere.

She is a 41-year-old tax-examining technician for the IRS. In addition to David, she and her husband, Glenn, have three adult children.

David Wilmes, 14, holds his pet skunk, Lily, in his Alexandria home. His mother, Elaine, stands next to him. (Craig Ruttle photo)

David was born in a car moments after it pulled into a hospital parking lot. As an infant and toddler, he never slept through the night. "A ball of energy," Elaine says. "He just wore me out."

As a young child he was prone to fits of kicking, screaming and breaking his toys. Behavioral problems also cropped up in day care, but the staff offered Elaine no advice. Then she switched day cares, and someone suggested her son be professionally tested.

He was 5 when a psychologist diagnosed ADHD. Elaine knew little about it, wrongly assuming it was a label attached to the children of "people who couldn't handle their kids."

The mental disorder affects 3 to 5 percent of children, and two to three times more boys than girls, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Symptoms include inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

The bipolar diagnosis came a year later. People with the condition experience alternating mood swings, from severe highs to severe lows.

Elaine knows that many people - children as well as adults - find it hard to see beyond the symptoms. When a child exhibits unusual or disruptive behavior, they think he's being obnoxious.

She still remembers volunteering in David's classroom for Valentine's Day, when he was in fourth grade. She watched as a classmate got up to throw away the Valentine that David had given her.

"When you see that your kid is miserable, and people don't understand, it's heartbreaking," Elaine says.

But the diagnoses gave Elaine the impetus to get David the help he needed. She found a psychiatrist she's come to know and trust. The ongoing counseling and treatment include careful monitoring of David's medications.

Making good progress

And with perseverance has come progress. Although he still faces many challenges, David attends regular school classes. He's making friends. He and his parents plan on him attending college.

"He's calmed down a lot in the last couple years," Elaine says, although it's not unusual for him to be awake until 1 or 2 a.m.

Even though many people don't outgrow ADHD, they can adapt and live fulfilling lives, experts say.

The first step - seeking help - can be a hard one, Elaine says. That's why she's speaking up. "If this will help one more parent take the initiative to get a child the help needed, it'll be worth it."

E-mail jjohnston@enquirer.com