By Lauren Bishop
The Cincinnati Enquirer

If you've never seen A Christmas Story - the hilarious and heartwarming tale of 9-year-old Ralphie Parker's quest for a Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range-model air rifle in 1940s Indiana - you're about as in the dark as the Parker living room after Mr. Parker's hard-won, fishnetted leg lamp crashes to the floor.

Don't get it? Well, you're in luck: There's a two-disc special-edition DVD of the 1983 feature film out now, including commentary by director Bob Clark and actors Melinda Dillon (Mrs. Parker) and Peter Billingsley (Ralphie), original radio readings by late author and movie narrator Jean Shepherd, interactive trivia and a decoder match challenge (Warner Home Video; $26.99). There's also a slim new book compiling the writings that Shepherd drew upon to create the movie (Broadway Books; $14.95).

Of course, you can always rely on TNT's annual A Christmas Story marathon, which starts at 6 p.m. Wednesday and continues for 24 straight hours.

To pay tribute to this holiday tradition, here are just 10 of the movie's most memorable moments:

1. The oft-repeated response to Ralphie Parker's request for the Red Ryder BB gun: "You'll shoot your eye out!"

2. Mrs. Parker bundling up Ralphie's brother, Randy, in his red snowsuit, boots, hat and gloves before wrapping the scarf around his face, prompting Randy to wail, "I can't put my arms down!"

3. The triple dog dare that causes Flick's tongue to become stuck to a metal pole in the schoolyard, an act that remains the stuff of urban legend.

4. Mrs. Parker's childlike delight when reluctant eater Randy shows her "how the piggies eat."

5. Mr. Parker, overwhelmed with excitement about the mysterious prize he won in a puzzle contest, reading the writing on the wooden box it arrives in: "Fra-gee-lay. It must be Italian!"

6. Ralphie's fantasies of heroically defending his family with the Red Ryder, teacher Ms. Shields fawning over his "theme" about what he wants most for Christmas, and his parents' tearful apologies after getting his mouth washed out with soap causes him to go blind.

7. A blink-and-you'll-miss-it scene in the Christmas parade when participants dressed as the winged monkeys from the Wizard of Oz pummel Mickey Mouse.

8. The one-liners uttered by the kid in goggles in line to see Santa: "I like Santa. I like the Wizard of Oz. I like the Tin Man."

9. Mr. Parker's observations of Randy in the pink rabbit suit his Aunt Clara has made for him: "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny ... he looks like a pink nightmare!"

10. The Parkers dining on duck at the Chop Suey Palace Co. on Christmas Day while the servers serenade them, after the Bumpuses' dogs devour their turkey.

Can't get enough of A Christmas Story? You can purchase all kinds of memorabilia - from bobble-head dolls to lunchboxes - from the Indiana Historical Society's History Market (http://www.indianahistory.org/historymarket/store). But you'll have to wait until next Christmas to get a replica of the leg lamp: It's sold out.

On the air

What: A Christmas Story

When: 6 p.m., 8 p.m., 10 p.m., midnight, 2 a.m., 4 a.m. Wednesday, TNT; 6 a.m., 8 a.m., 10 a.m., noon, 2 and 4 p.m. Thursday, TNT

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E-mail lbishop@enquirer.com