Hail to the victors valiant.

Chris Perry, John Navarre and, most definitely, Markus Curry and Jeremy LeSueur, the two cornerbacks assigned to throw nets on the Southern Cal passing game. Hail, and please shut some mouths beginning this afternoon at 5.

Man, do I hope Michigan jumps up and down on USC. Let the Rose Bowl be a maze of maize and blue. Chris Perry, time to get a running start on your NFL future by running for 150 yards today. Send yourself off in glory, John Navarre. Here's wishing the Trojans' best view of Michigan wide receiver Braylon Edwards is from behind.

The Wolverines aren't supposed to win this game. Popular opinion is that the Trojans got hosed by the evil Bowl Championship Series. USC, not Oklahoma, should be in New Orleans playing LSU for the national title. The outpouring of outrage has been outstanding.

Southern Cal gets to play a bowl game at home. Oklahoma is in LSU's back bayou. But never mind. At this point, the Trojans couldn't inspire more sympathy if they were 85 orphans fresh from a Christmas Eve house fire.

There are a few guarantees in a sports writer's life. One is, if your paper requires a receipt for any expense over $25, everything you expense will cost $24.99; the second is popular opinion becomes gospel because that's easier than thinking.

Usually, we call for college jocks to be paid, as if attending five years of college for free isn't payment. No one ever explains who should be paid and how. Often, we demand a football playoff, though no one ever fully explains how it might work.

Today we're screaming about the wrong done Southern Cal. The whining has been endless. "Why do you deserve to be here?" a sports scribe on the $24.99 Plan asked Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops on Monday.

Help me here:

Southern Cal lost once. Oklahoma lost once. Southern Cal lost to California, which finished 7-6 in a mediocre league. Oklahoma lost to Kansas State, ranked 10th, playing Ohio State today.

Oklahoma beat 10-2 Texas by 52 and 9-3 Oklahoma State by 41. Oklahoma beat UCLA by 35; Southern Cal beat the Bruins by 25. How, exactly, does that make USC more worthy than the Sooners of the national title game?

Is it because the Trojans' loss came earlier in the year? Is there a line in the standings for that?

Wins, Losses, Ties and ... Losses In September?

This isn't the Academy Awards. College football isn't Paramount. It doesn't schedule its big releases late in the year so they're fresher in the minds of Oscar voters. A loss is a loss.

The hand-wringing has crossed over to the editorial page. "Fans deserve a playoff," USA Today decided. In college football, fans get one every week. Ask Ohio State fans if they didn't think the Michigan game was a playoff.

Others argue that school presidents, from both BCS and non-BCS schools, are angry about how the BCS picks its national champion. Not exactly.

The non-BCS presidents take issue with the BCS' exclusivity, not with how it determines its national champion. People such as Tulane president Scott Cowen and Miami athletic director Brad Bates wonder how their schools are supposed to pay for the same number of sports as Oklahoma, Ohio State and Southern Cal without access to the same tall cash piles provided by BCS bowls.

Regardless, if Michigan beats Southern Cal today, there aren't enough eggs in the world for the faces of all the experts who have bled for the Trojans. What's the world record for running the 100-meter dash backward?

If Michigan wins today, a sports writer will break it. Hail to the conquering heroes.

E-mail pdaugherty@enquirer.com