Sunday, February 1, 2004

Super Bowl vs. 'Queer Eye'

If you're wondering which one to watch, here's the way they line up against each other

By Lauren Bishop
The Cincinnati Enquirer

Last year, NBC vied for Super Bowl viewers during halftime with Fear Factor and Saturday Night Live specials. This year, in a creative counter-programming attempt, it's pitting men against men with three encore episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - its hit "make better" (not makeover) show normally broadcast on NBC-owned Bravo.

Can't decide between Queer Eye and this year's Super Bowl? Let us be your comparison guide:

Super Bowl vs. Queer Eye

Tom Brady
Born: 1977
Occupation: Quarterback, New England Patriots
Education: University of Michigan
Seen hobnobbing with: First Lady Laura Bush, Donald Trump, Playboy bunnies
Carson Kressley
Born: 1969
Occupation: One-fifth of the Fab Five, stylist who once worked for Polo Ralph Lauren
Education: Gettysburg College
Seen hobnobbing with: Cher, Juliette Lewis, Playboy bunnies

Reliant Stadium, Houston New York City metropolitan area

The players:
Carolina Panthers, New England Patriots The Fab Five (Ted Allen, Kyan Douglas, Thom Filicia, Carson Kressley and Jai Rodriguez) and three straight shlubs: John Bargeman, Ross Morrissey and Andrew Lane)

$468,145 (2002 median annual salary, Panthers), $540,300 (2002 median annual salary, Patriots) About $320,000 annually, each Queer Guy

What they'll be wearing:
Eye black, jockstraps, helmets Eye cream, boxer briefs, Helmut Lang

When to watch:
6-10 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 1, Channels 12, 7 8-11 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 1 on Channels 5, 22

What to eat:
Wings, pizza, nachos, pork rinds, beer float Toasts with truffle fois gras mousse, asparagus and pasta torta, cr╦me brulee

What to drink:
Beer, soda, beer Fruit smoothies, mulled wine, martinis

Music you'll hear:
Aerosmith, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Walter Suhr and Mango Punch! during the pre-game show; Beyonce Knowles singing the Star-Spangled Banner, and Janet Jackson, Kid Rock, P. Diddy, Nelly at halftime show Basement Jaxx, Elton John, Junior Senior, Kylie Minogue, Liz Phair, Widelife featuring Simone Denny

Major advertisers during show:
Anheuser-Busch, H&R Block, Pepsi, Procter & Gamble, erectile dysfunction medication manufacturers Apple, Disaronno Originale Amaretto, Kohler, Orbitz, Smirnoff

Number of U.S. viewers:
130 million expected 7.2 million average viewers of past episodes aired on NBC

Buttonhook - A pass route in which the receiver heads downfield, then quickly turns back toward the line of scrimmage Tjuzs (jooj) - To tweak, to arrange, to place, as in pushing sleeves up the forearm or stretching out a collar on a knit shirt to make it look worn and less "out of the box"

Patriots coach Bill Belichick cutting `efensive back Lawyer Milloy a week before the season; the NFL nixing Bono's offer to sing an AIDS-awareness song with Jennifer Lopez during halftime; being the most boring Super Bowl in years Possibly perpetuating stereotypes of both gay and straight men; dumping Blair Boone, the original "culture vulture," for Jai; Carson and Thom briefly wearing straight guy John Verdi's police uniform

Memorable quote:
"We wanted to beat them up. That was the goal. Run and hit. Just hit and hit and keep on hitting. If they had the ball, hit them. If they didn't have the ball, hit them." Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi in The New York Post "Spa treatments are expensive, but you know what's more expensive? Divorce." - Carson in Episode 102: A Great Mess in Great Neck

Super Bowl vs. 'Queer Eye'
TV rivals include lingerie, old flicks

Don't ask Johansson to just act her age
Conlon, chorus sing out
Lite menu delights symphony audience
Films don't always live up to Leonard's standards
Judge to R. Kelly: Stay clear of Jackson
Footlights program takes over Arnold's
'My Children' stumbles over crucial character

Seen: Greater Cincinnati bashes and benefits
Volunteer Spotlight: Morleen "Moe" Rouse
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