A lot of chatter has gone on since E.T. phoned home in 1982, when Drew Barrymore was 7.

Now, the star of 50 First Dates," who turns 29 on Feb. 25, is communicating her thoughts on hooking up in the March issue of Seventeen, which is out now.

"Love as if you've never hurt," says the former Mrs. Jeremy Thomas (1994) and Mrs. Tom Green (2001). "You have to look at yourself. . . . Is there one way to be on a date? I doubt it. I would spit on a date. I would fart, and I would let it go! Just be yourself."

That rumbling you feel may be grandpa John Barrymore turning in his grave.