Sunday, February 22, 2004

What's up with that?

Odds and ends in the news

So long, we hardly knew you

Danny Wuerffel, the 1996 Heisman Trophy winner who started 10 games at quarterback in six National Football League seasons, retired from professional football this week.

In a related story, Danny Wuerffel did not retire years ago, as we had suspected.

Freaky Friday

"Smokin" Joe Frazier's attorney, Eugene Bonner, was quoted in the Philadelphia Inquirer on Frazier's arrest last week for allegedly striking a woman: "Joe's never had any problems like this. I can only attribute it to this being Friday the 13th."

That defense is not expected to hold up in court.


The Record (Bergen County, N.J.) reported this week that Detroit Pistons second overall pick Darko Milicic totaled only 54 minutes of playing time before the All-Star break, comparing him to other highly touted rookie flops Shawn Bradley and Sam Bowie.

Fast forward 15 years. Joe Dumars is contemplating his failed front-office career, listening to guys say "Duuuude, remember that guy? Ya know, that guy you took ahead of Carmelo?"

High hopes

The New York Times this week quoted 77-year-old Penn State football coach Joe Paterno as saying he'd "like to win one more national championship and have one more undefeated season."

All right, who hid Joe Pa's pink pills?

World-class hack

Bloomberg News reported this week that Vermont resident Larry Olmsted this week set a world record for distance traveled to play golf in a single day by completing rounds in Australia and the U.S. When asked what he shot, he responded, "in the high 90s."

Olmsted is also believed to have set the record for the world's dumbest 14-handicap.

An international affair

According to the Dallas Morning News, the Chinese national basketball team has hired Mavericks assistant Del Harris to coach the country's Olympic team.

Wait'll they find out he's not Chinese. Somebody in the Chinese sports ministry is going to have some 'splainin' to do.

Opening Day tickets long gone
Wagner's ready for more
A quick chat with ... Rick Stowe
Experience could give Valentin catching edge
ONLINE EXTRA: Reds e-mail Q&A
POLL: What are the Reds' chances of winning the NL Central?
Arizona's Big Unit still thinking big
Mondesi ready to join Pirates

Bearcats exercise their survival skills
Daugherty: Hicks' hustle saves UC
White scores high on defensive effort
Xavier: Chalmers hits clutch layup
Sato praised for job guarding Dayton's top players
Despite injured hand, Fitch sparks UK to win
MU takes advantage of foul downpour
Hoosiers can't stop Buckeyes' inside game
Top 25: Stanford, St. Joe's still unbeaten
MU women narrowly escape upset bid by CMU
NBA: Frank still unbeaten as N.J. coach

Lewis careful with QB decision
Arizona on Dillon watch list
To NFL experts, Roethlisberger has right stuff
Issue still weighing on QB

It was a honeymoon off the beaten path for these newlyweds
Purcell Marian graduate digs new role
What's up with that?
Planning ahead: Can't-miss TV
All thumbs

Mayo triple-double keeps NCH perfect
Fairfield stuns 6th-ranked Winton Woods
Ky.: Villa Madonna girls hang on to edge Heritage
Wrestling: Crusaders roll, send 9 to state
Ky. Wrestling: Camels take Sixth Region
Swimming: Beck, Krone top surprises of surprising day
Groeschen: State wants to pin down all-time stats
Ernst: Real action to follow is on sidelines
Prep sports results, schedules

Rockingham field filled with slow competition
McMurray capitalizes on drivers' distraction

Weir widens Nissan lead to 5
Sports digest
Sports on TV, radio