By MIKE LOPRESTI
Gannett News Service

Shhhh. Could we have it a little quiet, please? This is a study session for the final exam for that now world-famous course at the University of Georgia - Coaching Principles and Strategies of Basketball.

questions released this week as part of the investigation into how maybe some things weren't entirely on the up-and-up academically in Georgia basketball during the Jim Harrick regime.

It was Harrick's assistant coach and son, Jim Jr., who taught the class and administered the final, which included one hardball after another:

How many goals are on a basketball court?

How many halves are in a college basketball game?

And everyone's favorite - How many points does a 3-point field goal account for?

OK. So it's not Harvard Law School.

A revised test with more difficult multiple choices might help and be more in line with today's basketball. Here's the recommended new exam, with the first eight questions modeled after Harrick's test sheet:

1. How many goals are on a basketball court?

A. Two.

B. Three.

C. Plenty. Not only the two rims with nets, but the point guard's goal is go early in the NBA draft, the shooting guard wants to keep his 20-point average and the power forward wants a dunk to be on SportsCenter.

2. How many players are allowed to play at one time on any one team?

A. Five.

B. Seven.

C. Depends. With the Los Angeles Lakers, if Kobe is in a bad mood, only one.

3. How many officials referee a college basketball game?

A. Two.

B. Three.

C. Four. The three bozos in the striped shirts, plus me.

4. How many halves are in a college basketball game?

A. Two.

B. Three.

C. Easy. One for every four television timeouts.

5. How many quarters are in a high school basketball game?

A. Two.

B. Three.

C. Four. Just like the NBA, where half the junior class plans to play next spring.

6. How many fouls is a player allowed in any one game before fouling out?

A. Four.

B. Five.

C. When he was at Georgetown, Patrick Ewing got about 12.

7. How many teams are in the NCAA Tournament?

A. 64.

B. 65.

C. Three-fourths of the Atlantic Coast Conference, whether they deserve to be or not.

8. In what league do the Georgia Bulldogs compete?

A. ACC.

B. SEC.

C. Same one as Kentucky, though lots of years, you wouldn't notice.

9. What's the most helpful phrase to have ready during a disappointing season?

A. "We've had a lot of injuries."

B. "Next season's recruiting class is considered by many experts to be one of the best ever."

C. "We're delighted to be in the NIT."

10. What's the most important phone number to have on your Rolodex?

A. The university president's.

B. The athletic director's.

C. Dick Vitale's.

11. If an NCAA investigator shows up in your office, you should ...

A. Offer to buy him lunch.

B. Shut the door, turn out the lights and have secretary tell him you're at the Maui Classic.

C. Give him directions to Baylor.

12. What's the fastest way to draw a technical foul?

A. Throw a chair.

B. Start three guards and three forwards.

C. %$&!$?

13. One thing you should insist on before taking the job:

A. A larger recruiting budget.

B. Your own talk show.

C. A nonconference schedule of Florida International, Arkansas-Pine Bluff, The Citadel and Quinnipiac.

14. What should be the first priority for a new coach?

A. Recruiting a big post player.

B. Improving the defense.

C. Signing a shoe contract.

15. What's the surest way to get fired?

A. Smile for the cameras during a campus toga party.

B. Finish 7-20.

C. Teach a class with a final exam that includes questions such as "How many points does a 3-point goal account for?"

---

Mike Lopresti writes for Gannett News Service.