Sunday, March 14, 2004

What's up with that?

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True Maverick

According to The Dallas Morning News, Mavericks forward Antoine Walker was upset with his playing time after getting just 18 minutes in a 103-90 win over Phoenix last week.

"It's tough to do anything in 18 minutes," Walker said.

What it's not tough to do, apparently, is hoist up nine shots and make only two, which is what Walker did in his time on the floor.

Don't call it a comeback

The New York Daily News reported this week that 41-year-old Evander Holyfield, despite losing six of his last eight fights, has vowed to return to the ring and retire as the undisputed heavyweight champion.

This has surpassed punch drunk and bulldozed right into punch delusional. Has this guy even met Joe Frazier or Jerry Quarry? We all know how this is going to end. Why doesn't he?

Out on the trail

The Associated Press reported that Martin Buser, the Iditarod leader at the race's halfway point, drove over a moose carcass - a fresh wolf kill - while mushing through an area of the trail called the Farewell Burn.

Fresh wolf kill? Unbelievable.

Ice queen

The Indianapolis Ice, a minor-league hockey team that once signed giant Manute Bol as a publicity stunt, signed former U.S. Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding in another effort to generate interest.

Harding appeared for the Ice in Friday's "Guaranteed Fight Night," which promises that fans will see some sort of fight at the game or receive a free ticket to the team's final regular-season game. Unfortunately for those in attendance, there was no "Guaranteed Shameless Promotion Starring a Person Who Symbolizes Everything Wrong With Sport" promotion in effect.

Second skin

USA Today reported that after four years of extensive, top-secret testing on three continents, and by integrating computer technology used in Hollywood blockbusters, Formula One auto racing and America's Cup yachting victories, Speedo says it has developed the world's fastest swimsuit.

For all its technological and engineering advances, the suit, called the Fastskin FSII, isn't expected to make the rest of us any less uncomfortable.

Knockout punch is Bearcats'
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Daugherty: Bobbitt takes pain, then dishes some out
Defense is star of tournament championship

XU's 4-for-4 makes history
Finn's role this day is hero

Area teams hope to land on higher ground
A foolproof guide to doing your bracket
Top 50 things we love about March Madness
UK able to make all the right moves
Experts believe 'Cats likely to be top seed
SEC: Gators cruise past Vandy to title game
Big 10: Harris shoots; Badgers rebound
Big 12: Mouton's 3-pointers spur Longhorns to title game
Big East: Connecticut claims sixth league title
Pac-10: Cardinal avenge their lone defeat
MAC: Western Michigan wins title, NCAA berth
Tate lifts unlikely Florida A&M in MEAC tourney
Quakers in D-III Final Four
Women: Oklahoma beats No. 2 Texas
A quick chat with ... Digger Phelps

Eagles show why team's ranked No. 1
With Moeller on ropes, Duncan takes command
CovCath's Listerman finally makes Sweet 16
Lancers heading to Sweet 16
Sycamore pulls upset over Princeton
Big Blue gets D-1 title
Amazons' 1st loss comes at high cost
Royals ousted; streak snapped
Groeschen: Norwood building athletic program
Ernst: Try this all-region tourney team
Prep sports results, schedules

Haynes aces first big pitching test
ONLINE EXTRA: Reds e-mail Q&A
Inside Reds camp
Kelly: Nasty, but pain just hurts
Norton in fight for spot on staff
Fantasy baseball: Unproven rookies still worth a look
Maroth's many sleepless nights
Is Benson on the way out?
Williams' wish to be frozen alongside dad

Visits and offers, but no action yet
Chesley: Bengals are just 'bullying'
Forget salary; age might be key number
Law wants to leave Pats, calls team's offer an 'insult'

Teen finds groove as skater, excels on international stage
What's up with that?
Area swimmers going national
Planning ahead: Must-see TV
This week's poll question
All thumbs

Long shot pulls upset in Fla. Derby
Inman gives Petty team nudge in right direction
NBA: Rockets halt Memphis
Sports digest
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