At the risk of sounding like Dr. Phil, I offer my analysis of what I think is basically wrong with the world today. I think our problems all boil down to two words: Bad Manners.

For the sake of space, I am hitting just three areas: Bad Driving, Bad Dating and Bad Bank Behavior. Bad Driving first.

The average speed on my street is 40 to 45 mph. I go 25, and it makes other drivers nuts. Most of them are driving SUVs or pickup trucks, and they just can't stand the speed limit. They tailgate while contorting their faces in varying degrees of rage. Some of them even roar past me on a double yellow.

I was leaving for work one morning when a kid in a silver Audi rounded the corner so fast he almost killed my mailbox. I followed him for a few miles as he drove like a NASCAR star to a stoplight. He couldn't bear waiting for the light to go green, so he whipped through a grocery store parking lot and shot out to the main road. Luckily, he didn't send a shopper and their cart into the next life.

Okay. Bad Dating. Thorns to guys who:

• Get into their cars first, then fling the passenger door open so that she can get in. Come on, boys! Open her door and close it when she is seated. Then you get in.

• Eat in restaurants with their hats on. When you enter the restaurant, get the hat off. Put it back on when you hit the door on the way out.

A couple walks into a nice restaurant for a weekend breakfast, and as soon as they are seated, out comes the newspaper. I am happy that you read the Cincinnati Enquirer. I am happy that you are reading me now, but during breakfast, put the paper aside and focus on each other.

And now, the one that takes the prize: Bad Bank Behavior. I was at the bank recently making my company's daily deposit when a voice to my right said, "Don't move! This is a holdup!"

I slowly turned my head, expecting to see a man brandishing a pistol. What I saw was an older woman. She was playing a joke on the woman in front of her. She thought what she had done was funny. I gave her a hard look and shook my head. She smirked and cowered when she realized that no one was laughing.

So ... drive like you have some respect for the public good, be a gentleman with women, and do not bark "This is a holdup!" in a bank.

Have a well-mannered week.

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Michael J. Matre of Fairfield is a credit manager for a lighting firm.

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