By Ron Berthel
The Associated Press

The last word in new books is books about words - words that will help you finish a crossword puzzle, speak Latin, use proper grammar, or say something without saying it at all.

Latin words

Latin is Greek to most of us, but there's help in "X-treme Latin: Unleash Your Inner Gladiator" (Gotham Books, $17.50) by Henry Beard.

This handbook of Latin phrases might not help translate a prescription or a legal brief, but it does provide some smart-aleck remarks that could come in handy at the office, on the golf course, behind the wheel, in front of a computer and at the sushi bar.

Is your medical bill too high? Tell your physician, "Mercedes tuae insanae sunt" - "Your fees are insane." Caveat (beware) the medication with "Fieri potest ut cerebrum tuum liquefiat" on its label or "Your brain may turn to mush."

And if someone asks you "Quagis?" ("Wassup?"), the appropriate reply might be "Eice id ex animo" - "Fuhgeddaboutit!"

Sections offer Latin phrases that might be found on T-shirts, bumper stickers and graffiti, as well as a selection of "Pig Latin" - no, not "atin-Lay ig-Pay," but some Latin words and expressions definitely rated NC-17.

Crosswords

The Million Word Crossword Dictionary (HarperResource $25.95) comes to the rescue of crossword solvers who have uttered cross words because one stubborn blank was keeping them from continuing or completing a puzzle.

Stanley Newman and Daniel Stark, longtime puzzle constructors, have constructed a hefty reference volume that contains more than 250,000 clues and more than 1 million answers - including 500,000-plus synonyms and thousands of names of famous people, films and literary works, and fill-in-the-blank answers.

The entries appear on more than 1,200 pages in four columns, arranged from "a" ("per") to "zzz" ("sleep, snore").

There are solutions to clues about cricket terms, Linda Ronstadt songs, cow breeds, breakfast cereals, Hedy Lamarr films and Baseball Hall of Fame members. Look up "column" and find a block of synonyms; look up "block" and find a column of solutions for the word and its various forms.

More than 100 answers each are supplied for "far out," from "def" to "first-class": and for "offensive," from "raid" to "outrageous." There are a bunch of entries for "banana," a handful for "fingers," and a six-letter answer for "crossword" - "puzzle," of course.

Foolish Words

Even bright people have said things that didn't come out quite right, that made them sound - well, downright foolish.

In "Foolish Words: The Most Stupid Words Ever Spoken" (PRC-Sterling, $9.95 paperback), Laura Ward has collected hundreds of examples of public statements made by lawyers, celebrities, politicians, royalty, businesspeople, athletes and others who probably wish they could rewind the tape and erase it.

Among the more generous contributors is film maker Samuel Goldwyn, whose frequently uttered malapropisms became known as Goldwynisms. Among them: "A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on" and "Tell them to stand closer apart," Also quoted frequently is another master of the malapropism, baseball's Yogi Berra, who once declared, "A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

Unidentified is the writer of a rejection letter to Pearl S. Buck that read, "Regret the American public is not interested in anything on China." It referred to her novel "The Good Earth," which became a huge best seller and won a Pulitzer Prize in 1932. Another non-prophet was physicist Lord Kelvin, who, at the turn of the 20th century, said, "Radio has no future."

Who can be sure what President Eisenhower meant when he uttered, "Things are more like they are now than they ever were before"?

And Irwin Schiff must have wanted to eat his words: Shortly after the publication of his book, "How Anyone Can Stop Paying Income Taxes," the IRS sent him a bill for $200,000.

In other words

The shelves are sagging with how-to books. Now comes a how-not-to book.

"How Not To Say What You Mean" (Oxford, $18.95) is a dictionary of euphemisms - you know, words or phrases that say something in a less direct and sometimes more tasteful manner.

R.W. Holder has compiled thousands of entries, arranged alphabetically, in his 500-page book that includes some common euphemisms - "take a powder," "pop the question," "sow your wild oats," "blow a gasket" and "knuckle sandwich."

Along with them are many less-familiar ones: "make old bones" (live a long time), "gooseberry lay" (an easily committed crime), "Chicago typewriter" (submachine gun), "turkey farmer" (unsuccessful businessman), "warpaint" (cosmetics) and "touch signature" (fingerprint).

Softer terms for "to die" include "leave the building," "kick the bucket," "fall off the perch," "buy the farm," "pop off," "check out" and "hand in your dinner pail."

But "prison" doesn't necessarily sound less unpleasant when called the "hoosegow," "big house," "glass house," "ice house," "ice box," "deep freeze," "slammer" or "stir."

For quick reference, there is an index of euphemisms by subject, including Animals, Clothing, Politics and Religion, as well as Cheating, Drunkenness, Lying and Stealing.

And why does the cover show a duck standing on one leg? Why, that's a "lame duck," a euphemism for an officeholder who has not been re-elected, or a failing enterprise.

The right words

In Garner's "Modern American Usage" (Oxford, $39.95), Bryan A. Garner offers a reference guide for writers, editors and students, and a playground for language lovers.

This updated and expanded version of the 1998 book features 900-plus pages with more than 9,000 alphabetical entries and subentries, 181 essays, and 7,200 examples culled from newspapers, books and magazines, all to promote the proper use of English words.

We are told that "anniversary" should be used to mark milestones only in terms of years; so, to refer to a one-week anniversary or six-month anniversary is "loose usage (that) should be avoided if possible."

In what category do "category," "minuscule," "ukulele" and "misspelling" belong? They are among the 66 commonly misspelled words listed, while "free gift," actual fact" and "new recruit" are among the many redundant phrases to be avoided.

Use "jarfuls," not "jarsful," advises the book, and computer "disk" but brake "disc."

Avoid "fudge words," says Garner, who tells us that using "it seems" and "it appears" makes writing sound "tentative - and sometimes that's no doubt how you want to sound. But if you use them frequently, readers' energy and attention will fly."

Among non-words is "irregardless," which has found its way into respectable publications. Garner urges that "careful users of language must continually swat it when they encounter it."