By Patricia Gallagher Newberry
Enquirer contributor

In this season of performances - with dance, band, song and sports events crowding our spring calendar - we have become an American Idol family.

Prompted by the 8-year-old with a newfound fondness for reading the TV listings, we tune in regularly to see pop-star wannabes strut and sing, hoping to be the last Idol standing.

A.J., the TV page reader, has joined Huff Nation in support of his favorite. His sisters are sticking with the red-headed crooner, despite his weak reviews. I'm all about girl singers with big voices and will be happy if any of the three in that category take the prize. My husband, meanwhile, has yet to catch Idol Fever. Too cheesy, too predictable and too many annoying Coke plugs for him, I guess. Agreed, on all counts.

But for our hour-plus investment a week, the kids and I are getting a pretty good payoff.

Consider:

• It's good, clean fun for the whole family. American Idol contestants aren't swimming with snakes, jumping from speedboats, eating odd insects or hopping in the sack with each other. In the reality show genre, it's one of the few that earns a G rating. It motivates the kids to be ready for bed at 8. While they are headed for the couch instead of their bedrooms, at least they have their homework done, jammies on and projects put away by Idol Hour.

• Speaking of the couch, watching a show with their mother is teaching them its proper use. Without me, they slouch on, slide from and otherwise abuse the furniture. With me, they have but one choice: sit still or sit on the floor.

• They're discerning the difference between constructive criticism and biting commentary. In their eyes, that makes Paula Abdul the nice judge and Simon Cowell the really evil one. They are learning, too, that skill in the performing arts is not limited to one gender or race. In this competition, the girls are clearly ahead of the boys and the white kids are getting their clocks cleaned.

• They are learning some songs are harder to sing than others. Later in life, they'll appreciate why only Elton John should sing Elton John songs. Ditto for Barry Manilow.

• They are learning that performing on stage takes practice - a lesson that bears repeating each time the 5-year-old complains that her dance class is long, or the 8-year-old laments that he stinks at baseball, or the 10-year-old slumps over too-hard clarinet exercises.

• They are also picking up lots of performance do's and don'ts, just in time for their upcoming turn in the school variety show. Such as: Do show confidence, but don't be a show-off. Do show style, but don't show too much skin. Do know the words to your song, don't try to fake it.

More broadly, the American Idols are teaching my own would-be Idols that competition creates winners and losers - but the best losers are those who act like winners when they lose.

But perhaps their most important Idol lesson of all: Their mother isn't so dumb. I've called the first ones out and I'm pretty sure one of my three faves will be the next American Idol.

E-mail patti@marriedwchildren .com