Hey, kids: Let's play whack-a-cicada!

CICADA MANIA

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Show Brood X how you really feel with the Cicadanator, a metal hybrid of flyswatter and tennis racquet gadget geared toward the looming invasion.

We found the cicada swatter for $3.99 at Walgreens, and now we're armed and ready for cicadas and all sorts of other pests, not to mention a friendly pickup game of badminton.

Experts say cicadas are harmless and won't attack humans, but why take a chance?

Just say splat.

Often.

Some Cincinnatians are already bugged by the idea of the cicadas' return. Could it be their noise, their sheer numbers or the Limburger cheese-like stench of decaying cicada carcasses?

The Cicadanator could help control the racket the tree-sucking sex machines will make when they arrive in May. It'll also help you work off all that stress caused by incessant mating calls and big winged bugs buzzing the city.

And you'll get a chance to exercise your upper body if you take enough swings.

Remember, it's you against 5 billion of them.

Peggy O'Farrell