'Indian Hill gravel pit" sounds as weird as "Camargo Country Club Trailer Park." It doesn't fit, even if you rename it and put up a gate with a bouncer in a park ranger's uniform.

But that's what it is - a gravel pit. The land in Camp Dennison on the fringe of Indian Hill is on my way to church, so I pass it every Sunday. You can call it Lake Aggregate or whatever - it's still a gravel pit.

And everyone knows gravel pits are redneck resorts - beachfront property for NASCAR guys who carry fishing rods in their pickups, and bait in a cooler. I've seen them fishing the pit on Sunday mornings.

But no more. The Village of Indian Hill has purchased 300 acres of gravel pit for an extreme makeover into a private park for members only.

It might even have an electric gate, said City Manager Mike Burns. Gate cards could be issued to about 6,200 Indian Hill and Camp Dennison residents who want to walk their dogs, go kayaking or bird watch. A ranger will keep out non-members, Burns said.

"We're not going to be able to avoid that we are a community viewed to be exclusive," he said. "This probably makes us look worse than we are."

But let's remember: Indian Hill people are just like the rest of us, except that they live in houses the size of aircraft carriers, on lots as big as small Pacific Islands.

They're just plain folks who happen to raise their kids in more than one home - without even getting divorced.

Here's something else to remember when we're done joking about the Thurston Howells: They might have good reasons.

It turns out Indian Hill's drinking water comes from the pits. "Part of the site is in our well-head protection area," Burns said. "It's a very sensitive site, and we bought it to protect our water quality."

The park purchase blocked development of 600 houses that would cause runoff of pesticides and herbicides into the aquifer, he explained. "It's also a migratory stopping place for birds and waterfowl. If it's inundated with people, the waterfowl won't come."

And that would reduce bird watching to common crows and blue-collar jays. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Burns said all the $7 million purchase came from Indian Hill. And, "We have loads of parks open to everyone," he said. "We have a couple hundred acres of parks.

"Our recreation program serves all of Camp Dennison, Kenwood and Indian Hill," Burns said.

Grand Valley park will open in about a year. Part of the property has buried asphalt and tires, and needs proper cleanup. "We paid the price for the property to make certain we wouldn't suffer any negative impacts forever," he said.

The Indian Hill folk I know are fine people who don't fit the snob stereotype at all. Their generous donations support charities, museums and the arts.

If I ran Indian Hill (right after I become club champion at Camargo), I'd leave the park open to the public and close the gates if it gets too crowded. I've been to gravel pits before and I've never seen big crowds, except that time some girls I knew went skinny-dipping.

But if Indian Hill wants its own gravel pit for kayakers and birdwatchers, it's fine by me. I'll be bird watching at my members-only, exclusive backyard sprinkler.

E-mail pbronson@enquirer.com or call 768-8301.