Charles gone wild

In the greatest rumor since that Brian Urlacher-Paris Hilton Vegas story, the New York Daily News reported this week that Charles Barkley could be heading to HBO Sports.

Can you imagine Sir Charles: Uncensored? Using f-bombs like Picasso used oil? It'd be like Allen Iverson playing in a league where traveling was never called.

My goodness, where's my Guinness?

According to The Associated Press, a judge in Dublin, Ireland, decided to really stick it to the old boys' network at a local golf course. After determining the course discriminates against women, the judge ruled the course should be banned from selling alcohol ... for a week.

I kid, I kid

Actual quips from President Bush during the White House visit of four national championship teams Wednesday:

• On the UConn men's and women's basketball teams: "I notice we have a lot of people from Connecticut here today."

• On the absence of Diana Taurasi, who was preparing for her WNBA premiere: "She's making a living. It's part of the economic recovery package. She goes to college and gets a really good job."

Cracker Jacked

The New York Times reported this week that the Yankees have replaced traditional ballgame snack Cracker Jack with Crunch 'n Munch.

According to David Bernstein, director of hospitality at Yankee Stadium, "We tasted them both, and believe it or not, Crunch 'n Munch won."

Believe it or not, David, nobody likes Cracker Jack. But is Crunch 'n Munch immortalized in one of the most recognizable songs on the planet? Are there sweet glow-in-the-dark prizes in Crunch 'n Munch boxes? No? OK, we're not interested.

Skirting the issue

According to The Associated Press, Greece's appeal to receive an automatic berth for men's field hockey at the Athens Olympics was rejected Wednesday by The Court of Arbitration for Sport.

The Hellenic Hockey Association challenged the International Hockey Federation's qualification system Feb. 17, saying Greece deserved a spot as host nation. A CAS panel dismissed the case, but its reasons were not disclosed. Men's field hockey. Who knew?

Ryan Ernst