By Doreen Nagle
Gannett News Service

Anorexia nervosa and bulimia affect girls more often than boys, and at younger ages than once thought. Can parents help influence their daughters to see their bodies in a more positive way?

Bite your tongue

Children believe what they are told, especially when the message comes from their parents. When parents tell a daughter that she could stand to lose a few pounds, she takes it to heart. After all, she wants nothing more than to please them. Her parents are her mirror: If they think she's chunky, it must be true. Is your daughter truly overweight or just not as thin as some of her friends or certain pop stars? Resist the urge to tease her. Use some of the tips here instead.

Play role model

• Young girls follow nonverbal clues. While Mom is telling her daughter not to focus on looks so much (over half of girls 12 to 15 say their appearance is a major concern to them), is Mom also on one diet after another, complaining that her rear end is too wide? Children follow what we do more frequently than what we say. Our nonverbal actions speak louder to them than our verbal directives.

• Mom: Enjoy your own looks, at least when your daughter is around.

If you feel you must diet, let your daughter know you are doing so because you will feel healthier, not because you want to look a certain way.

• Define beauty in a healthy way. The old cliche that beauty comes from within still holds water, even in this day of young, too-soon sexy entertainers as role models for young girls. Point out female celebrities known for being nice, working hard and using talent. Explain how a beautiful spirit gets the celebrity more points than a beautiful body.

What to do instead

• If your already-thin daughter considers herself overweight, wants to diet at a young age, refuses to eat or is overly obsessed with how much she eats, get professional help. Anorexia and bulimia are not to be taken lightly.

• Teach her to respect her body with a daily regimen of good hygiene and grooming habits.

Here are some examples: shiny, clean hair; moisturizer and sunblock; sunglasses; brushing and flossing; bathing and using deodorant as appropriate; no drugs or alcohol.

• Refocus. A young girl who is focused on doing well in sports, who enjoys hiking or other exercise is focused on a strong body, not a sexy shape. Get her involved in a sport that doesn't emphasize being a certain weight.

You might also enroll her in an exercise class.

• What if she is overweight? If your daughter is overweight, help her keep her weight at a healthy level by making sure she eats well.

Buy and offer more fruits, vegetables and whole grains versus making nasty digs about her weight.

Warning signs of possible anorexia:

• Deliberate self-starvation with weight loss.

• Fear of gaining weight.

• Refusal to eat.

• Denial of hunger.

• Constant exercising.

• Thinning hair on scalp, but increased amounts on face or body.

• Very dry skin.

• Greater sensitivity to cold.

• Fainting spells.

• Absent or irregular menstrual periods.

• Comments or complaints about being fat when they're obviously thin.

Source: The American Academy of Family Physicians