By CHRISTINE ROOK
Lansing (Mich.) State Journal

The beginning of the school year means a new routine, earlier bedtimes, maybe a morning bathroom fight and, sigh, homework.

The summer-to-school transition can be rough on kids. August might as well be National Anxiety Month.

Almost 54 million children nationwide will enter or return to grade school in the next few weeks, according to the U.S. Census. They'll pressure parents for $80 FUBU jackets and $92 sneaks. In return, parents will nag them to study. And both groups, no doubt, will stress teachers.

Pressure can be good, as long as it's the right kind and the right amount. The challenge is defining "right."

Experts recommend parents talk with each other, to teachers and to kids and that they not try to be so perfect.

School anxiety results from concern about change, fitting in or academic competency, says Bela Chopp, a psychologist and director of the Oakland University Counseling Center in Rochester, Mich.

Even encouragement can cause anxiety in some students, says teacher advocate Larry MacQueen, who works with the Michigan Education Association. When that happens, students don't test so well.

"What we're looking for is encouragement and support and not pressure," he says.

Finding a balance between good encouragement and bad encouragement varies child to child, regardless of whether the student is entering kindergarten or high school.

Parents should ask themselves these questions:

• Does my child appear comfortable?

• Is he or she fretting about homework?

• These are signs the student is feeling too much pressure. Even after school starts, continue to pose those questions. Talk with the teachers about what they see in class, MacQueen says.

Shopp suggests parents:

• Watch their reactions.

• Explore whether their fears are realistic.

• Talk to other parents.

"Maybe we didn't have good experiences in school," Chopp says, "so it's hard for us to see it as a fun place."

Another way to ease student tension is to make the school routine familiar:

"Routines are very comforting," Chopp says.

Walk children through the morning schedule, from the wake-up time to the time they should leave the house. Talk about what the school day will be like. Take children to orientation sessions or just to visit the school. Don't forget to set an after-school schedule.

There is no doubt student confidence involves clothing, but coolness is pricey.

One solution is to shop sales; another is to address the underlying cause - the need to fit in.

Instead of shopping, talk. Discuss with children what is important in life. Talk about values and how to make real friends. This is also a good opportunity for parents to analyze their own needs to buy expensive stuff for kids.

Retail stores would have a parent think that pre-schoolers must have markers, a pencil box and watercolor paints.

But "children like simplicity," Chopp says. "If you present them with 200 crayons, they are overwhelmed."

Sometimes it is teachers who request the world.

The lists they send home to parents can be intimidating, with such orders as, "Buy only two-pocket, three-hole folders in dark blue."

Technically, parents don't have to buy that stuff, because public education is free. Buying everything on the list, however, can sometimes make a child's life easier, because he doesn't have to wait in line for the school markers.

Call the teacher, MacQueen says. Some items might not be needed until October. Others might not be "needed" at all.

On the Web:

www.parenting.org/tween/e_current.asp, advice for parents trying to help kids transition from summer to school.