By P.G. Sittenfeld
Enquirer contributor

Call it summer brain drain - the reason that, on the first day back to school, eloquent linguists answer in monosyllabic grunts, math whizzes struggle to make the numbers add up and budding scientists can't quite find their equilibrium in the lab.

The affliction, which takes hold during the summer break, causes students to forget most of what they've learned.

"My brain is exhausted after the first day," said Alex Heekin, who will be a senior at St. Ursula Academy. "It definitely doesn't feel like an 'ease-into-things' day."

Do students' brains get bleached by the summer sun? Do excesses of pool chlorine and mall air shrink their cerebellums? Not exactly.

"It's like exercising a muscle - the brain needs stimulation," said Daniel Langmeyer, who teaches psychology at the University of Cincinnati.

Stimulation is something Ruben Comparan, who will be a senior at Lakota East, hasn't spent enough time seeking in summers past.

"I find myself asking 'Uh, can you please repeat the question?' a lot when teachers call on me the first week back to school," he said.

So that you're ready to go when the teacher calls on you, here are a few simple, nonacademic ways to jump-start your brain in these final days of freedom:

• Heat up the dinner table. Discuss and debate current events at dinner. A good point is a good point - whether it's made at the kitchen table or in the classroom. And convincing your family that you're right is at least as tough as convincing your teachers.

• If you're watching TV, make it Jeopardy! Following the antics of Jessica Simpson won't make you any smarter - but the ability to store and recall facts is a skill crucial to any student's success. The "Potent Potables" category might not help in school, but "European Capitals" and "U.S. Senators" can come in handy.

• Go to a Reds game. Refigure batting averages, tally strikeouts, calculate ERAs - hey, this is better than multivariable calculus!

• Make it a movie night. Renting a foreign movie with or without subtitles is a great way to tune your ear for language class. Even if you don't comprehend every word, hearing a language will help you start to remember that certain je ne sais quoi.

• Hit the sack. The routine of a school night is critical. Begin going to bed a little earlier every night, starting a week before you're due back. Feeling fresh for the first day of class will give you a leg up on your zombie-like peers.

If a few weeks into the school year the mental wheels are still spinning slowly, don't feel too bad.

"Learning isn't easy," Langmeyer said. "It takes a lot of work."