By Michael D. Clark
Enquirer staff writer

DETECTING AND STOPPING A BULLY

Officials at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration say parents who suspect their children are being bullied at school should: • Make sure the child knows being bullied is not his or her fault. • Tell the child he or she does not have to face bullying alone. • Teach the child to be assertive. • Tell the child not to react to bullying but to walk away and get help if pursued. • Have the child report the bullying immediately to a trusted adult. • Contact the child's teacher or school principal. If you suspect your child is becoming a bully, look for warning signs that he or she: • Seeks to dominate and/or manipulate others. • Enjoys feeling powerful and in control, whether real or not. • Is both a poor winner (boastful and arrogant) and a poor loser. • Seems to derive satisfaction from others' fears, discomfort or pain. • Is good at hiding behaviors or doing them where adults can't notice. • Displays uncontrolled anger. • Lacks empathy toward others.

Bullying: It's the timeless obstacle many students face and all parents dread.

A recent study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) reveals a link between bullying and more violent behavior.

The study, released in April under the supervision of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, included a survey of 15,686 public and private school students in grades 6 through 10. The study found that children who bullied and their victims were more likely to engage in violent behavior than kids who had never been involved in bullying.

Moreover, among those who bully other students - almost always boys - more than 52 percent had carried a weapon in the past month, more than 43 percent had carried a weapon to school and more than 38 percent were involved in frequent fighting.

By comparison, the NIH study found that among boys who were bullied at school every week, more than 36 percent had carried a weapon and more than 28 percent had brought that weapon to school.

In contrast, of the boys who reported never having bullied others, more than 13 percent reported carrying a weapon in the past month and about 8 percent carried that weapon to school.

"It appears that bullying is not an isolated behavior, but a sign that children may be involved in more violent behaviors," said Dr. Duane Alexander, director of the NIH's Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

Dr. Daniel Nelson, a child and adolescent psychiatrist for Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center, isn't surprised with the results.

"Bullying will always be with us, but we also have to remember that bullying is a symptom; and when you get behind the reasons why a bully acts that way, you often find there is intense anger that is covering intense fear and sadness," Nelson said.

Since the Columbine tragedy, schools across the nation and locally are more alert to incidents of student bullying and quicker to intervene. Still, some parents - and even school staff - might not understand the wider damage of bullying and downplay this form of abuse, says a 30-year veteran administrator of public schools.

Ed Knabb, a retired Mount Healthy school principal now living in Mason, said "some parents, teachers and principals still see dealing with bullies as one of life's rites of passage ... and just a part of growing up."

E-mail mclark@enquirer.com.