Kindergarten:

Break out the camcorder, because this is it: Your baby has hit the big time. This year, he’ll experience his first school-bus ride, first field trip, first test and first appearance in a school concert.

Your kindergartner also will learn to tie his shoes this year, unless you’re one of those Velcro families. And girls can join “Daisies,” the precursor to Girl Scouts and years of bingeing on Thin Mints.

Grade 1:

Kids read books by themselves now. Teachers assign homework for the first time. Boys join Cub Scouts.

Grade 2:

No, cursive isn’t dead yet, despite that interloper known as Instant Messaging. R u ready, boys and girls? This year you’ll learn how to write like your grandparents. You’ll also read books with chapters, camp overnight for the first time, and, if you’re Catholic, experience First Communion.

Grade 3:

Just yesterday, your little girl was awaiting the tooth fairy, and now she’s…getting braces?? Yep, it happens this early for some children. Third grade is a turning point not just for teeth: Children begin setting goals, learning how to work with others, even acting responsibly now and then.

Grade 4:

Mom, dad, don’t take this personally, but you’re not so cool anymore. Fourth-graders start putting a little distance between themselves and you. They discover hobbies and special abilities. In school, they may get letter grades for the first time.

Grade 5:

This is when some kids face changing for gym in the locker room for the first time. They’ll also get their first school lesson in “the facts of life,” which isn’t nearly as interesting as watching The O.C. Another first this year: gallant attempts to play the clarinet, trombone and other instruments that will never be heard from again.

Grade 6:

Boys and girls. At a dance. Together. Freakdancing.
Okay, just kidding. There is absolutely no freakdancing allowed, even if your parents have no idea what that is.

Besides their first boy-girl dance, sixth-graders experience first science fairs, first performances in a play, first tryouts for school sports. And this is the year that girls launch baby-sitting empires.

Grade 7:

Doesn’t this sound fun: Recess ends and acne cream begins. Deodorant becomes a necessity. Voices start to crack.

On the brighter side, Jewish children celebrate bar or bat mitzvahs this year, and Catholic children are confirmed, although some parishes wait until eighth grade.

Grade 8:

You rule the school. You hear about careers for the first time, from a parade of professional types who hem and haw when you ask how much money they make. You have your first graduation. If you’re Catholic, you take entrance exams for parochial high schools in November or December.

Grade 9:

You do not rule the school anymore. In fact, you’re pretty much invisible, but at least you’re attending your first homecoming game. You’re also facing your first all-night study session, first freakout over academics and possibly your first tryout for varsity sports. You start bagging groceries or working at a concession stand on the side.

Grade 10:

Cars and cats go together this year. You start driving the first and dissecting the second. You may also flip burgers on the side.

Grade 11:

You’re finally ready for profanity and adult situations, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. Good luck convincing your parents to OK that R-rated movie, though. You’ll also experience your first prom, first advanced placement courses and first SATs.

If you have wheels and a pile of cash, (for insurance), you’ll drive to school. And you’ll start the long process of saying goodbye.

Grade 12:

Deadlines. You’ve never had ‘em like this before. Teachers need those requests for recommendation letters. Colleges need your essays and applications. The federal government needs your financial-aid form, and the sooner you apply after Jan. 1 of senior year, the better your chances.

Legal drinking is still three years away, but you’ll vote for the first time this year, and boys must register for the Selective Service within 30 days of their 18th birthday. Oh, and another thing: You rule. Enjoy it.