By Bob Mook
Gannett News Service

Grief can introduce emotions uncommon in a workplace, but grief experts say it's better to let workers deal with their feelings instead of expecting them to get over it in a designated time frame.

"The biggest challenge is inappropriate expectations," said Alan Wolfelt, director of the Fort Collins, Colo.-based Center for Loss and Life Transition. "North America in particular has a real 'buck-up-and-carry-on' culture."

When the death is of a co-worker, dealing with the grief can be more difficult.

Recently, Wheeler Commercial Services LLC, a small commercial real estate company in Fort Collins, lost two of its principals in a twin-engine plane crash.

"People can feel helpless - torn apart," said Wolfelt. "Workplaces are not places where open emotionality is encouraged."

But if the workplace becomes an environment where people can express grief, Wolfelt said, workers can slowly find their groove again.

"The only way to get back to operating efficiently is to honor the need to grieve," he said.

Not only are Wheeler's surviving employees left with the emotional fallout from the deaths of two key people, but the small business has to deal with their financial entanglements and unfinished business.

"It's almost like starting over," said Fred Croci, the only surviving partner of Wheeler Commercial.

The loss of a key person also could trigger secondary losses, such as the loss of business and loss of stability, said Kevin Ann Oltjenbruns, a specialist on grieving at Colorado State University.

Oltjenbruns, who worked at CSU when two colleagues died unexpectedly, said grief is a complex issue in the workplace because people and organizations respond to it differently.

"If we don't mourn well, we don't work well and we don't live well," Wolfelt said.