Cincinnati.Com
NKY.COM  |  ENQUIRER  |  CIN WEEKLY  |  Classifieds  |  Cars  |  Homes  |  Jobs  |  Help
Currently:
65°F
Partly Cloudy
Weather | Traffic
The Enquirer
HOME
NEWS
ENTERTAINMENT
SPORTS
REDS
BENGALS
LOCAL GUIDE
MULTIMEDIA
ARCHIVES
SEARCH
 
 TODAY'S ENQUIRER 
 Front Page 
 Local News 
 Sports 
 Business 
-- Editorials 
 Tempo 
 Home Style 
 Travel 
 Health 
 Technology 
 Weather 
 Back Issues 
 Search 
 Subscribe 

 SPORTS 
 Bearcats 
 Bengals 
 High School 
 Reds 
 Xavier 

 VIEWPOINTS 
 Jim Borgman 
 Columnists 
 Readers' views 

 ENTERTAINMENT 
 Movies 
 Dining 
 Horoscopes 
 Lottery Results 
 Local Events 
 Video Games 

 CINCINNATI.COM 
 Giveaways 
 Maps/Directions 
 Send an E-Postcard 
 Coupons 
 Visitor's Guide 

 CLASSIFIEDS 
 Jobs 
 Cars 
 Homes 
 Obituaries 
 General 
 Place an ad 

 HELP 
 Feedback 
 Subscribe 
 Search 
 Newsroom Directory 


  \
Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Grave thoughts on ultimate consumer item


Your voice: Lois Eha

In his Aug. 25 cartoon "The new face of supermarkets," the Enquirer's Jim Borgman depicts the variety of items now available in the new mega-supermarket. But Jim failed to mention the most unique, never-before purchase you could make in your supermarket. According to recent radio and television spots, you can now purchase your own (or a loved one's) casket. Yes, casket! As in funerals, burial.

You can stroll through your local Costco and, while munching on a sample of bacon-wrapped, cheese-filled hot dog, you can choose a casket. You might want to do this, the broadcaster points out, to save your loved ones the chore of selecting this final gift for you, or to be sure your loved ones don't opt for the cheap one.

The choice is probably not easy and requires some foresight and clear decisions. Fashion tells us that silver is in right now, but with all the Olympic hoopla, bronze might be good. Plain or decorated, flowers or scroll work? What about accessories? Do caskets come with wheels?

Does Costco offer a layaway plan, or do you have to take immediate possession? Is there delivery in a plain truck, or will the neighbors be shocked when they see the Casket Delivery truck in your driveway? Will the casket fit through standard doors?

One of the biggest problems I see is where to put the casket. Although I could move the piano, it might be a tad gauche (or ghostly) to have the casket in the living room. The most likely spot is the basement. Of course, everything that ends up in most basements becomes an immediate storage facility, and the casket could be a great place to store blankets and quilts, seasonal clothes or even all your Christmas decorations. If you're into crafts, you might want to lay a 4-by-8 sheet of plywood on it and have a great project table.

Having a casket in my basement would require some rules for my grandchildren. No shooting baskets in the basement now, don't put open soft drink cans on that, and definitely no riding it around the basement.

Although I'm not planning to make this ultimate purchase right now, I have thought that having a casket right next to the treadmill and the bicycle might be great. All the health gurus tell us that exercise is the way to a long and healthy life. The casket could be a reminder: It's on the bike or in the box!

Lois Eha of Finneytown is a retired educator who served as a curriculum director and a test coordinator. She now divides her time among family, educational consulting and wood carving.

Want your voice here? Send your column or proposed topic, 400 words or fewer, along with a photo of yourself, to assistant editorial editor Ray Cooklis at rcooklis@enquirer.com; (513) 768-8525.



Let Allen investigation play out
No terror, great venues, success
Grave thoughts on ultimate consumer item
Convention blog watch
Letters to the editor



 

Jim Borgman
Jim Borgman
Jim Borgman is The Cincinnati Enquirer's Pulitzer Prize winning editorial cartoonist.
Jim Borgman
 • Today's cartoon

 • Archive

 • Biography

 • Pulitzer Prize

 • 25th anniversary


Letters to the Editor
Use our online form to send a letter to the editor of The Cincinnati Enquirer.

Or mail to:
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Letters to the Editor
312 Elm Street
Cincinnati, OH 45202


Related Links
e the People
e.the People
is an online public forum. Think of it as the digital town hall for The Cincinnati Enquirer.


Cincinnati.Com
Search our site by keyword:  
Search also: News | Jobs | Homes | Cars | Classifieds | Obits | Coupons | Events | Dining
Movies/DVDs | Video Games | Hotels | Golf | Visitor's Guide | Maps/Directions | Yellow Pages

  CINCINNATI.COM  |  NKY.COM  |  ENQUIRER  |  CIN WEEKLY  |  Classifieds  |  Cars  |  Homes  |  Jobs  |  Help


Search | Questions/help | News tips | Letters to the editors | Subscribe
Newspaper advertising | Web advertising | Place a classified | Circulation

Copyright 1995-2007. The Cincinnati Enquirer, a Gannett Co. Inc. newspaper.
Use of this site signifies agreement to terms of service updated 12/19/2002.