Ask him at his Senate hearing

File this under the heading of "Be careful what you say; someday you might want to be CIA director." Last May, Porter Goss, President Bush's nominee for spy chief, was quoted in several interviews mocking the concern about treatment of detainees at the very time the scandal over torture at Abu Ghraib prison was raging worldwide. "We were very concerned," Goss said, "that Guantanamo was being set up by the military to get the Good Housekeeping seal of approval because the International Committee of the Red Cross and the human rights people were there en masse. . ."

Goss said he personally saw no human rights abuses during interrogations at Guantanamo Bay. Goss is right that interrogation of terrorists can save lives, but even the pros say you can get more actionable disclosures with legal methods than with torture.

Funny money

No matter how funny some "funny money" may be, it's still considered theft by deception if you pass off a bogus bill as the real thing. Police in Greensburg, Pa., charged Deborah Trautwine, 51, with the crime for paying for purchases at the Fashion Bug store Aug. 22 with a "joke" $200 bill bearing President Bush's picture and the serial number DUBYA4U2001. The bill was signed by Ronald Reagan instead of the Secretary of the Treasury and by Bush's father, who was listed on the currency as "Campaign Advisor and Mentor." The back of the bill showed a picture of the White House and the lawn bedecked with signs bearing such heady messages as "We Like Broccoli" and "USA Deserves a Tax Cut."

It is debatable which is most in need of upgrading - the store's training or the school the clerk graduated from.