By SUSAN REINHARDT
The Asheville (N.C.) Citizen-Times

This is the time of year when I begin feeling the blues. The days are shrinking, the news on TV is swelling with tragedy and political dog fighting, and the rains have rolled out their carpets and won't relent.

So what's a person to do? Besides drinking liquor, smoking cigs and overeating - three bad habits sure to sucker punch your heart - there are alternatives.

One of my dearest friends says for her, nothing beats a bout of Tourette's syndrome. She apologizes in advance for those who actually suffer the condition as she is kindhearted and wouldn't hurt a soul.

"I'm fine one minute then it'll hit me, and I'll have my Tourette's cussfest," this ordinarily tame woman said. I have witnessed this, and it's not pretty. But for her, it does the job and the stress slate is wiped clean.

For me, nothing beats the mopes like crawling in the bed with piles of food and the remote control. Once I have finished the supper dishes and kids' stuff, I get out the popcorn, the paper towels, put on some ugly pajamas and get into bed with my clicker and mini-smorgasbord.

I turn out all the lights, lock the door and watch Lifetime TV for women. Normally, I'm not a TV person, preferring to read or work on other projects. But when the blues strike, it's time to Turtle. That's the phrase therapists use for holing up and recouping.

In the old days of housewives and soap operas, women could haul out the ironing boards, a pack of Salems and every woe and worry evaporated as "One Life To Live" made their own lives seem a whole lot better.

Since I work, I'm not home to watch soap characters go to jail or end up with evil twin sisters. This is why Lifetime has become a lifeline. I like to pretend it's not as tacky as sitting in front of QVC and ordering Diamonique.

The movies, for the most part, are like Cheez Whiz. The plots follow about five formulas. Murder. Obsession. Jealousy. Infidelity. And custody battles.

Such options are "Dangerous Child," about a son who turns violent and whips up on his folks. Hmmm. I may skip that one and try "In My Sister's Shadow," instead. This story is about what much of Lifetime focuses on - domestic violence, one of the network's more helpful formulas since it actually might save a life.

Other fare for the upcoming month includes, "Custody of the Heart," guaranteed to be another tear-jerker and "Too Young to be a Dad," the old teen pregnancy issue - tried and true for us turtles who have taken to our beds.

"Fifteen and Pregnant," is also part of the lineup, a story involving a mother whose husband is cheating and daughter is knocked up. If one is suffering doldrums, Lifetime has plenty of movies about moms being locked up, women stalking doctors, burying husbands alive, moms trying to kill their daughter's cheerleading competition and men marrying three women at once.

Tell me these won't lift a veil of doldrums. A day of this is enough to make a woman grateful.

Another thing I do when feeling blue is "window" shop on eBay. I like to admire all the adorable Kate Spade pocketbooks I'll never be able to afford. For some odd reason, it perks me up.

When I asked a male friend what he does to shake the pre-fall blues, he lit up like the fairgrounds (another way to cure one's ills).

"I enjoy a vigorous swim, a lot of beer and getting frisky with the missus," said this dear man we all adore.

If it were only that simple for women.