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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Seniors join crowds at online dating sites


Some lonely, others just adventurous

By Anne D'Innocenzio
The Associated Press

[photo]
Mary Bellis Waller sits in her living room with just one of the piles of letters she's received from men she's met at online dating sites. Waller, 64, has been a senior online dating pioneer.
The Associated Press/DARREN HAUCK

NEW YORK - Sensuous, intellectual woman, 5-3, adventurous, pretty and open, seeks a life partner who is sexy, highly intelligent and cheerful.

How old is this woman? In her early 60s.

That's the profile Mary Bellis Waller, now 64, posted on two Internet dating sites during her search for a companion.

Waller was a pioneer of online dating among people her age, and thousands of others age 60 and older are also turning to the Internet to find romance. They're bringing in some unexpected revenue for online dating sites, which expect business to grow as many baby boomers find themselves single again.

"You don't have to be a beauty queen or a young babe to find interesting people on the Net. People think that their romantic lives are over because of age, but it has nothing to do with it," said Waller, a psychotherapist in Milwaukee who logged on to chat rooms and then Match.com after her second husband died in 1996. She's now in a serious relationship with an executive-turned-farmer, but said she met dozens of other interesting men over the Web.

Imatchup.com, an online dating site whose members total 2.5 million, said the number of its users 55 and older is rising as much as 30 percent faster than its total.

In August, more than 16 percent of those active on the top five dating sites, including Yahoo! Personals and Match.com, were 55 and over, and more than 5 percent were 65 and over, according to Nielsen/NetRatings Inc., an Internet research firm. That's up from 15 percent in the 55-plus category and 4.8 percent in the over-65 group a year earlier.

Overall, the number of people active on top dating sites grew to 22.53 million in August from 22.28 million a year ago.

Observers say one of the main obstacles in online dating for people 60 and older was overcoming their technophobia, but that seems to be fading as more people use computers and the Internet. Of the nearly 148 million people active online in August, nearly 20 percent were over 55 and more than 7 percent over 65, according to Nielsen/NetRatings.

More comfortable online

"Seniors are the fastest-growing online demographic overall," said Kaizad Gotla, an analyst at Nielsen/NetRatings. "It has been a challenge in the past, but they are becoming more comfortable adapting to the Internet. It really has become a necessity."

Chet Bayliss, 77, whose first wife died 25 years ago, said he "learned to be Internet savvy to get on Match.com" at the encouragement of his son, who wanted him to find romance again. It took him just a few weeks to learn to e-mail and surf the Web, he said.

Finding a wife "was a kind of motivator," said the Laguna Woods, Calif., resident.

He did find one, meeting Janice Stromme, now 66, in May 2003. They married three months later.

But most older online daters appear to have different goals from their younger counterparts, according to a survey by Match.com. It found that 26 percent of singles age 55 and older indicated they were looking for a commitment or marriage, much lower than the 55 percent for ages 18 to 29; and 60 percent for ages 30 to 39.

Dr. Gilda Carle, a Yonkers, N.Y., psychotherapist, believes online dating gives seniors "something to live for that they didn't have before. This will guarantee a greater longevity for our seniors."

Orr said, "Most women who tried it didn't know any available men offline, and were surprised to see there are men out there."




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