"He earned a place in San Diego Padres lore that season," the paper's reporter wrote, "when, suffering from food poisoning and heat exhaustion, Caminiti unhooked himself from a bag of intravenous fluids, devoured a Snickers bar, hit two home runs, then returned to his clubhouse IV."

Wow.

Lede of the week

This one comes from Don Pierson of the Chicago Tribune:

"CHICAGO - Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and his wife, Raquel, had their first child last week, a daughter they named Alexis. They're trying to keep other details, such as her weight, private, as if notoriously grumpy Philadelphia fans might boo her arrival."

The man makes a good point.

King of beers ... and NCAA studies

As the Orlando Sentinel reported this week, the NCAA says it has found proof the situation isn't as dire as many people think when they picture drunken college students tumbling out of the nearest football stadium on Saturdays.

The paper also revealed that brewery giant Anheuser-Busch funded the study, called the "2004 Safe Celebration Study."

We smell a rat. And it reeks of stale Budweiser like the morning after a fraternity party.

One more

According to the Wisconsin State Journal, presidential candidate John Kerry spent last Sunday watching the Packers-Colts game at the Main Street Pub and Grill in downtown Mount Horeb, Wis. He reportedly stayed for about 40 minutes, had a cheeseburger and a Leinenkugel's - a "Leinie" in Wisconsin circles - and then even bought a round for the entire bar.

Jazz hands

In one of the most bizarre boxing press conferences since Mike Tyson showed up with a tattoo on his face, Nicaraguan welterweight Ricardo Mayorga did a tap dance routine Wednesday on a poster of Felix Trinidad, his opponent Saturday night.

Even for boxing, that's a little weird.