It's just about two weeks before Election Day. Who really cares about health care, Social Security, teacher pay, foreign policy, domestic policy, Frankfort policy, abortion, gun control and stem cell research?

Most of us should, and that includes voters, politicians and political writers. But few of us do, at least at this point.

Sure, we care what happens in Iraq. We hope Social Security survives for future generations. We don't want health care to cost more than our mortgage. And nobody wants teachers to go on strike.

But that's not what we really want to talk about. Or, for that matter, write about.

There's Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Nick Clooney's famous son and John Kerry's outrageous wife.

We have George Bush's scowls and Geoff Davis' new look. We see attack ads featuring outlandish claims and hear stump speeches that would make Pinocchio blush.

Rhetoric rules. Hype wins the day. Bluster grabs the headlines.

Want a serious policy discussion? Watch PBS.

We love to fight about provisional voting, dwell on hanging chads, bang on Michael Moore and curse Rush.

Democrats froth at the mouth over Jim Bunning's odd behavior. Republicans cry foul at the Dems' election-year ritual of filing ethics complaints against GOP candidates.

People steal and deface campaign signs. Blogs are clogged with juicy gossip and salacious claims. Thoughtful discussions turn into shouting matches.

There's the Swift Boat Veterans and MoveOn.org. We know more about Kerry's service in Vietnam and Bush's stint in the National Guard than we do about fiscal policy.

Tax cuts or tax rollbacks? Blue state or red? Gay marriage and civil unions or family values and liberal judges? The Heinz ketchup fortune or the Bush family oil? Uniter or divider? Zogby, Gallup, CNN, SurveyUSA or all of the above?

Cheney's sneer or Edwards' smile? Kerry windsurfing or Bush cutting brush? The Bush twins or the Kerry daughters? A Texas ranch or a Beacon Hill brownstone? Liberal or conservative? D or R.

It's not that we're shallow - OK, maybe we are just a little - but politics in the days before an election is a full-body contact sport. At this point we know what the politicians are going to say. It's much more entertaining to see how they say it - if they flub a sentence, if they cheat during a debate, if they mispronounce a word or misstate a fact.

Look at it this way - at least people are talking about politics. The discussion may not be deep, but it sure is fun.

E-mail pcrowley@enquirer.com Crowley interviews state Senate candidates Jack Westwood and Kathy Groob this week on ICN6's "On The Record", which is broadcast daily on Insight Communications Channel 6.