Anyone who is still habituated to such maladaptive delusions is way beyond passive-aggressive separation anxiety disorder and may need a crisis intervention to avoid complete decompensation.

In English: Get over it.

We keep hearing about "building a bridge to unify America.'' But it sounds like the media and the Kerry crowd think that bridge is a one-way street. Bush needs to reach out to "progressives'' by cross-dressing as a liberal, they insist.

In English: If our guy wins, we get our way; if your guy wins, we still get our way or we will pout.

Time for some reality therapy.

The nation has just been through a severe mid-life crisis. And after we stopped throwing lamps and punching holes in doors, we decided to park the Kerry sports car and go back to the Bush family minivan.

There's room in it for everyone. But we're not waiting in the driveway forever until the far left gets over its tantrum and decides to come along.

Unity is a two-way street. And that means the Bush-haters need to move on from MoveOn.org and rejoin the American family, or get left at the rest stop.

"When some people demonstrated during the first inaugural parade for President Bush, I thought that was just terrible,'' said Ohio Sen. Mark Mallory, co-chairman of the Hamilton County Democratic Party. "Everybody has to accept that he is the commander in chief and always, always respect the office.''

Tim Burke, the other co-chairman, said, "There will be a lot of soul-searching in the Democratic Party. There will be a fight over who will lead it.''

I recommend heavy doses of psychotropics to the most rabid Democrats who hear voices that say "Bush is Satan.'' Some may need electroconvulsive therapy.

In English: Dump the Hollywood hate crowd and grow up. The anti-war '60s are a chapter in history, not a political platform.

Meanwhile, Republicans should be alert for symptoms of grandiosity and irrationally elevated self-esteem.

In English: Don't gloat. There might be a headache behind all that Bush victory champagne.

"In 1996, the Republicans talked about carrying Hamilton County with 100,000 votes. In 2000, it was 42,000 votes. This year, it was 25,000,'' said Burke. "The numbers are trending our way.''

As population leaks out of Hamilton County like air hissing from a punctured tire, Republicans are fleeing to the 'burbs and leaving Democrats in charge.

"There has been a steady flow to Warren, Butler and Clermont counties. Just look at all the new development on the borders,'' said Hamilton County Republican Chairman Michael Barrett.

His answer: On taxes, gay marriage and other issues, "A lot of African-American families are becoming more Republican in their outlook. There's definitely an outreach opportunity for us.''

That theory will be tested in the next big contest, for mayor of Cincinnati in November 2005.

Mallory said the results on Tuesday were good news for his run for mayor; Barrett said if Republicans volunteer as they did for Bush, they could win it with the right candidate.

But while the nation is getting more conservative, famously conservative Hamilton County is getting more Democratic.

It might take two fresh cans of psychobabble to explain that.

E-mail pbronson@enquirer.com or call 768-8301.