(Joe Namath) resided in a penthouse with a llama-skin rug. ... There was an oval-shaped bed with a mirror suspended above. ... Joe's sheets were green satin; his wallpaper silk, his floors marble. The sofa and ottoman were brown suede. The fixtures in the john were eighteen-carat gold. A miniature Spanish galleon Namath bought in Cincinnati rested atop a French provincial cabinet.

Coolest ... guy ... ever.

Lede of the week

ALL THUMBS

Thumbs up 1. Northern Kentucky University. How cool was it for the Norse, and sharp-shooter Mike Kelsey, to play UK at Rupp? They'll follow that with games against UC and Ohio State. Beats the heck out of those big-school yawners against Athletes in Action. 2. Miami RedHawks. The flap over Miami's football attendance, and possible repercussions by the NCAA, is a shame. Did anyone notice the RedHawks just clinched their 11th straight winning season? 3. Pro Bull Riding. The event on NBC Sunday drew a 2.8 national rating. Not exactly the NFL, but it was twice the rating of the all-time low Breeders' Cup rating last Saturday. Yee-haa! 4. Pro franchises. No matter how much money they make, no matter how ticket prices go through the roof, the flock of fans follows loyally. The latest? Cowboys fans/voters passed a referendum for a new $650 million, 90,000-seat stadium. Thumbs down 1. Latrell Sprewell. He managed to break out the "I have to feed my family" blast when complaining about not getting an extension to his $14.6 million-a-year salary. "Why would I want to help them win a title? They're not doing anything for me," he said of the Timberwolves. Beautiful. 2. JoePa. Has Joe Paterno earned the right to leave on his own terms? You bet. But the Penn State program is dying, and now he's angrily challenging reporters' questions. It's pretty sad. 3. Whiners. The announcement of the Ohio prep playoff pairings last week gave some cause to complain that "everyone doesn't make the playoffs." Boo-hoo. Like the NCAA Tournament and college football, it's not broken. Don't complain about fixing it. 4. Wally Backman. Well, he was a big-league manager for a day or so. For the love of Mike Price and George O'Leary. ---Mike Ball

This comes from Mike Downey of the Chicago Tribune:

CHICAGO - Losers of 341 of their last 460 games, the Chicago Bulls will launch a new NBA season Friday night.

Recognized in public in such a way that if an exit poll at Michigan Avenue stores were to ask Chicagoans to identify "Jared Reiner," most of them would ask in return if he's the guy who lost all that weight eating submarine sandwiches.

Great expectations

Eddie House, guard for the lowly expansion Charlotte Bobcats, summed up the franchise's optimism this week, saying, "We will win games this year, and we will try to do it every single time we play."

And we will wear basketball shorts, for EVERY game. And we're gonna dribble, repeatedly ...

War zone

The Associated Press reported that a Wrigley Field groundskeeper found a rusted, hollowed-out shell of a grenade in the right-field turf.

Police bomb and arson investigators were called to examine the device, which they found to be empty and harmless.

"It's a dud, just like the Cubs were," Police spokesman Pat Camden said Wednesday.

Huh? What is this, a Police Academy movie?

At what price freedom?

The Detroit Free Press reported on Detroit Lions defensive tackle Kelvin Pritchett, who spent more than $1,100 to vote this week. Monday night, he flew to Florida, rented a car and stayed at a hotel. Tuesday morning, he got up, found his polling place and cast his ballot. Tuesday afternoon, he flew back to Detroit. Good for him, but has he heard of absentee ballots?